Monday, October 31, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Finally Friday- on national pride :P
So last night I was out and about getting started on my weekend with Ivan, Lili and Kristhina. Good times!! We had a really good time at happy hour where we made all of our plans for today because today my friends, is a really big day.
Tonight we are going to Caribbean Sun to dance to the beats of Mr. Danny Howells and Nick Warren. That promises to be A LOT of fun! The party starts after 10:00pm but being the beach bums we are, we are heading down to the beach after lunch and are staying there until tomorrow. Our Halloween celebrations begin today and only I know how much I love Halloween. Last year I was Lara Croft, this year...you'll see.
(sorry Grant, I had to rethink the slutty beach nurse outfit)
Anyway, last night I got yelled at for speaking English. I am still laughing about that one. After I dropped off Kristhina last night, we went to some friends' house. There were 5 people there: Ivan, Lili and I and then Vittorio (Italian), Francoise (French), Laura and Marlon. Our conversation was in Spanish because that was the only language everyone there had in common. Well...my phone rang and it was Kristhina so my mental switch was flipped to English and after I was done with my conversation Vittorio proceeded to say that people who choose to speak a foreign language over the local language have no national pride.
I have never laughed so hard in my life.
Apparently I have no national pride whatsoever because despite our heritage my brothers and I don't even speak to each other in Spanish. Hell, if it wasn't because I've heard them speak Spanish to other people I wouldn't even know that they did.
I think he had a pretty good argument; however, I think that he was over reacting. Why would I go out of my way to speak Spanish to someone who speaks English when I find it way easier to express myself in English? I dont' have to prove to humanity that I can speak another language. Whatever.
In my opinion lack of national pride is when you don't teach your children the language of their ancesters. It would be a real shame if I were to have a child and I didn't teach them Spanish along with whatever language their father may speak assuming that he is of a different culture. For me to raise a solely English speaking child would be an absolute mistake. In this day and age I think that speaking only one language is a real disadvantage. My cousins, for example, never learned Spanish or took any interest in foreign languages and as adults now they find that to be a handicap.
Poor little Fiona...she hasn't even been conceived and I have her life planned out including how many languages she is going to speak and how she is going to learn them...good thing my mom encouraged me to learn a few other languages aside english and spanish...
Tonight we are going to Caribbean Sun to dance to the beats of Mr. Danny Howells and Nick Warren. That promises to be A LOT of fun! The party starts after 10:00pm but being the beach bums we are, we are heading down to the beach after lunch and are staying there until tomorrow. Our Halloween celebrations begin today and only I know how much I love Halloween. Last year I was Lara Croft, this year...you'll see.
(sorry Grant, I had to rethink the slutty beach nurse outfit)
Anyway, last night I got yelled at for speaking English. I am still laughing about that one. After I dropped off Kristhina last night, we went to some friends' house. There were 5 people there: Ivan, Lili and I and then Vittorio (Italian), Francoise (French), Laura and Marlon. Our conversation was in Spanish because that was the only language everyone there had in common. Well...my phone rang and it was Kristhina so my mental switch was flipped to English and after I was done with my conversation Vittorio proceeded to say that people who choose to speak a foreign language over the local language have no national pride.
I have never laughed so hard in my life.
Apparently I have no national pride whatsoever because despite our heritage my brothers and I don't even speak to each other in Spanish. Hell, if it wasn't because I've heard them speak Spanish to other people I wouldn't even know that they did.
I think he had a pretty good argument; however, I think that he was over reacting. Why would I go out of my way to speak Spanish to someone who speaks English when I find it way easier to express myself in English? I dont' have to prove to humanity that I can speak another language. Whatever.
In my opinion lack of national pride is when you don't teach your children the language of their ancesters. It would be a real shame if I were to have a child and I didn't teach them Spanish along with whatever language their father may speak assuming that he is of a different culture. For me to raise a solely English speaking child would be an absolute mistake. In this day and age I think that speaking only one language is a real disadvantage. My cousins, for example, never learned Spanish or took any interest in foreign languages and as adults now they find that to be a handicap.
Poor little Fiona...she hasn't even been conceived and I have her life planned out including how many languages she is going to speak and how she is going to learn them...good thing my mom encouraged me to learn a few other languages aside english and spanish...
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
My friend :)
Ana and Kristhina- Age 13 
Ana and Kristhina- Age 26Good thing we grew up, right?
The absolute opposite of me.
Someone I love.
Someone I trust.
A reminder of where home is.
Kristhina is coming to visit today. I am so happy, I feel like my heart is going to explode. This past month I've missed her more that she can imagine.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Reality is perception...
Yesterday I woke up at 5:00am due to an extremely annoying smell lingering in my air conditioned room. I had no idea of what this smell was or where it was coming from. All I knew was that it smelled like absolute shit and at that ungodly hour that wasn't something I was prepared to deal with.
Well, it's a good thing that I got pissed off, turned off my air conditioner and opened the windows at least because according to today's papers it turns out that the smell was Ethyl Mercaptan. Though according to all conspiracy theorists, it was 30,000 gallons of natural gas. Hard to say who si right. In any case, somehow this gas managed to leak from the refinery on the West side of Santo Domingo and spread all the way across the city as a result causing gas poisoning to hundreds of people, mostly children and Bracuta.
Isn't that fucked up?
Never in my life had I heard of something like that happening anywhere. But of course, it had to happen here. I wish I could sue...
Anyway, after that little bit of morning drama which managed to last until the early afternoon (though maybe I just couldn't smell the gas anymore cause I got used to it), I went about my business. I understand that peole were all bent out of shape about that very unfortunate situation, but what can one do? Not breathe? I mean, we were suffering but imagine the ozone and the ocean...
So yeah I went to this really cool humongous farmer's market and I cooked. Again. I made dinner last night. We had spinach mini calzones and apple compote with frozen yogurt for dessert. It was absolutely amazing, and the entire meal (including dessert) had less than 500 calories. GO ME! I tell you, I am having so much fun with this that I think I'm going to make this a regular occurrance. I even started a new blog so I can post my recipes so I don't have to e-mail them 500 times ;-) You can go look at it here.
The more I cook, the more I think that I am right in just getting my M.S. in Nutrition. I really do have fun with these things. And cooking distracts me on days like yesterday when I was wishing for one thing but hoping for another. It distracts me on days that I should completely overlook because they should no longer mean anything to me but sadly they still do and only highlight the fact that even though I've taken 3 steps forward, it would be so easy to take 15 steps back. It gives me purpose when I feel like life really means nothing...
I am so cooking today again!
Well, it's a good thing that I got pissed off, turned off my air conditioner and opened the windows at least because according to today's papers it turns out that the smell was Ethyl Mercaptan. Though according to all conspiracy theorists, it was 30,000 gallons of natural gas. Hard to say who si right. In any case, somehow this gas managed to leak from the refinery on the West side of Santo Domingo and spread all the way across the city as a result causing gas poisoning to hundreds of people, mostly children and Bracuta.
Isn't that fucked up?
Never in my life had I heard of something like that happening anywhere. But of course, it had to happen here. I wish I could sue...
Anyway, after that little bit of morning drama which managed to last until the early afternoon (though maybe I just couldn't smell the gas anymore cause I got used to it), I went about my business. I understand that peole were all bent out of shape about that very unfortunate situation, but what can one do? Not breathe? I mean, we were suffering but imagine the ozone and the ocean...
So yeah I went to this really cool humongous farmer's market and I cooked. Again. I made dinner last night. We had spinach mini calzones and apple compote with frozen yogurt for dessert. It was absolutely amazing, and the entire meal (including dessert) had less than 500 calories. GO ME! I tell you, I am having so much fun with this that I think I'm going to make this a regular occurrance. I even started a new blog so I can post my recipes so I don't have to e-mail them 500 times ;-) You can go look at it here.
The more I cook, the more I think that I am right in just getting my M.S. in Nutrition. I really do have fun with these things. And cooking distracts me on days like yesterday when I was wishing for one thing but hoping for another. It distracts me on days that I should completely overlook because they should no longer mean anything to me but sadly they still do and only highlight the fact that even though I've taken 3 steps forward, it would be so easy to take 15 steps back. It gives me purpose when I feel like life really means nothing...
I am so cooking today again!
Monday, October 24, 2005
Annush Crocker!
This weekend I wished I had my camera with me SO many times! a lot of things seemed picture worthy, and there I was, unprepared...
Saturday I woke up with this unexplainable urge to bake. I don't know where it came from all I know is that I was all about the cookies on this particular day and so I went through my recipes picked out a couple that looked appetizing (oatmeal pumpkin and ginger cookies) and I began doctoring them.
Currently, everyone I know is on a diet. Being the nutrition freak that I am, I've created meal plans for everyone in my immediate circle and in trying to be supportive, I guess you can say that I've been in one way or another dieting myself. Because I didn't want to be the one to mess up their diet and because I refuse to eat 50 obscenely unhealthy cookies by myself I turned my otherwise disgustingly fattening and unhealthy (as a result never baked) recipes into delicious guilt-free creations.
I intended to bake them on Saturday; however, Miss Bracuta had me distracted all day long looking at engagement rings for her friend. Apparently friend's boyfriend is proposing and he had picked out a ring and needed approval. He got approval alright, but not of the enthusiastic variety. Bracuta thought it was too much bling, whereas I, who don't even know friend and HAD to put my two-cents in, thought that the setting was an exaggeration for the size of the stone and actually I just really didn't like it.
A ring like that would be reason enough for me to say no.
Like I've said before, I don't really think that I'll ever get married; however, if Prince Charming comes along and he wants to propose and he really thinks that I would say yes he better show up with THE RING. If Prince Charming is poor or he really can't afford THE RING, then he has a better chance of me saying yes if he gives me a ring pop. Both would make me equally happy. All the stuff in the middle means nothing to me. I don't ever wear rings...I need motivation :)
Anyway, after we did that we went to see The Washington Ballet. I was really stoked because one of their selections was Carmen and that has always been one of my favorites. It was great! During the intermission we found out that Hurricane Alpha had decided to head in our general direction and that kind of sucked. Luckily, though it was weak but it still flooded half of the city.
When I woke up yesterday and went to get my Sunday bagel it was a good thing I decided to take Ivan's SUV because otherwise I would have had serious trouble getting from my neck of the woods to the bagel shop and then back. So yeah, that little expedition thwarted any desire I may have had to leave my house at all yesterday so I just baked all afternoon.
My cookies came out fabulous! everyone loved them and they didn't believe me when I told them that they were organic, whole wheat, fat-free and dairy-free. Now they all think I've lost my mind; however, I'm okay with that. They are also thinking that I should sell my recipes to a particular healthy restaurant owner in the city.
*messge for Dan*
AND YOU SAID I COULDN'T BAKE :-P
Saturday I woke up with this unexplainable urge to bake. I don't know where it came from all I know is that I was all about the cookies on this particular day and so I went through my recipes picked out a couple that looked appetizing (oatmeal pumpkin and ginger cookies) and I began doctoring them.
Currently, everyone I know is on a diet. Being the nutrition freak that I am, I've created meal plans for everyone in my immediate circle and in trying to be supportive, I guess you can say that I've been in one way or another dieting myself. Because I didn't want to be the one to mess up their diet and because I refuse to eat 50 obscenely unhealthy cookies by myself I turned my otherwise disgustingly fattening and unhealthy (as a result never baked) recipes into delicious guilt-free creations.
I intended to bake them on Saturday; however, Miss Bracuta had me distracted all day long looking at engagement rings for her friend. Apparently friend's boyfriend is proposing and he had picked out a ring and needed approval. He got approval alright, but not of the enthusiastic variety. Bracuta thought it was too much bling, whereas I, who don't even know friend and HAD to put my two-cents in, thought that the setting was an exaggeration for the size of the stone and actually I just really didn't like it.
A ring like that would be reason enough for me to say no.
Like I've said before, I don't really think that I'll ever get married; however, if Prince Charming comes along and he wants to propose and he really thinks that I would say yes he better show up with THE RING. If Prince Charming is poor or he really can't afford THE RING, then he has a better chance of me saying yes if he gives me a ring pop. Both would make me equally happy. All the stuff in the middle means nothing to me. I don't ever wear rings...I need motivation :)
Anyway, after we did that we went to see The Washington Ballet. I was really stoked because one of their selections was Carmen and that has always been one of my favorites. It was great! During the intermission we found out that Hurricane Alpha had decided to head in our general direction and that kind of sucked. Luckily, though it was weak but it still flooded half of the city.
When I woke up yesterday and went to get my Sunday bagel it was a good thing I decided to take Ivan's SUV because otherwise I would have had serious trouble getting from my neck of the woods to the bagel shop and then back. So yeah, that little expedition thwarted any desire I may have had to leave my house at all yesterday so I just baked all afternoon.
My cookies came out fabulous! everyone loved them and they didn't believe me when I told them that they were organic, whole wheat, fat-free and dairy-free. Now they all think I've lost my mind; however, I'm okay with that. They are also thinking that I should sell my recipes to a particular healthy restaurant owner in the city.
*messge for Dan*
AND YOU SAID I COULDN'T BAKE :-P
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Sometimes I can't stop but sometimes it's other people...
Yesterday was a wonderful day! Not only did I get to work on my tan, I had a good lunch, I found the perfect nail polish and I even got a positive response from a certain inquiry I made yesterday regarding a particular position in a certain company. I was happy. Life was good.
This morning I woke up at 7am like I usually do. I brushed my teeth, made my oatmeal, had my coffee, sat down to check my email and that's when it started. I got some bad news and my morale was significantly lowered. Then, when people acknowledged that I was bummed I started thinking about it and I went nuts!
That's one of my problems...when I can't control something, frustration will always get the better of me....
Anyway, Yvette called to cheer me up and invited me to lunch. That was a welcome invitation so after I showered and ran some errands I picked her up at work and we went to have lunch at Joggers Cafe (you know...so we could feel bad about eating, we watched people working out).
After we ate, I was going to take her back to work. We got on the Ana-mobile and off we went. Being the careful driver that I am, I stopped at the red light of the intersection of the Ave. Lincoln and the Calle Paseo (...) so did the guy who was on the lane next to me. Apparently though, the dude on the huge ass cement mixing truck who was behind us didn't think that was necessary so next thing I know Yvette and I do this weird bounce thing, the car moves up like 10 feet and we heard a huge BOOM!
We looked to see what the hell had happened and it turned out that the guy in the cement mixer truck had hit both us and the car next to us. So I jump out of the car to go see what had happened but I couldn't see anything because the damn truck was literally stuck to both cars. That was an adventure.
Two seconds later these people who couldn't keep their eyes on the road got into an accident like 15 feet away from us. That was comedy but I digress...
Yvette called Ivan and Mario (the bf) while I drove the car away from the truck. The other car wasn't so lucky because this huge stick thingie from the bumper had stabbed the car and they were basically attached to each other.
We went to the police (Casa del Conductor)to file our complaint and each tell our sides of the story and I couldn't help but laugh when the guy said "no pude frenar a tiempo" (I couldn't stop in time...) hahahaha
I thought of La Poderosa.
But in any case, this is the Ana-mobile now. I am so depressed. It really could be much worse, and I expected it to be worse but now my other baby needs reconstructive surgery! AHHHHHH!
This morning I woke up at 7am like I usually do. I brushed my teeth, made my oatmeal, had my coffee, sat down to check my email and that's when it started. I got some bad news and my morale was significantly lowered. Then, when people acknowledged that I was bummed I started thinking about it and I went nuts!
That's one of my problems...when I can't control something, frustration will always get the better of me....
Anyway, Yvette called to cheer me up and invited me to lunch. That was a welcome invitation so after I showered and ran some errands I picked her up at work and we went to have lunch at Joggers Cafe (you know...so we could feel bad about eating, we watched people working out).
After we ate, I was going to take her back to work. We got on the Ana-mobile and off we went. Being the careful driver that I am, I stopped at the red light of the intersection of the Ave. Lincoln and the Calle Paseo (...) so did the guy who was on the lane next to me. Apparently though, the dude on the huge ass cement mixing truck who was behind us didn't think that was necessary so next thing I know Yvette and I do this weird bounce thing, the car moves up like 10 feet and we heard a huge BOOM!
We looked to see what the hell had happened and it turned out that the guy in the cement mixer truck had hit both us and the car next to us. So I jump out of the car to go see what had happened but I couldn't see anything because the damn truck was literally stuck to both cars. That was an adventure.
Two seconds later these people who couldn't keep their eyes on the road got into an accident like 15 feet away from us. That was comedy but I digress...
Yvette called Ivan and Mario (the bf) while I drove the car away from the truck. The other car wasn't so lucky because this huge stick thingie from the bumper had stabbed the car and they were basically attached to each other.
We went to the police (Casa del Conductor)to file our complaint and each tell our sides of the story and I couldn't help but laugh when the guy said "no pude frenar a tiempo" (I couldn't stop in time...) hahahaha
I thought of La Poderosa.
But in any case, this is the Ana-mobile now. I am so depressed. It really could be much worse, and I expected it to be worse but now my other baby needs reconstructive surgery! AHHHHHH!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Sunshine day!
This picture doesn't do today's sky any justice at all...
It has been a beautiful gorgeous day. The sky has been super duper blue and the clouds look like they were made of whip cream. You know, white and fluffy. A perfect beach/ pool day!
So I have been swimming all day.
Of course, my equally bummy potential sister-in-law/ buddy, Lilli, joined me (I'd post her picture as well but she doesn't want pictures of her in a bathing suit posted on here) and we spent the past 4 hours working on our respective tans. It was tons of fun!I even made sure to take off my sunglasses so I don't get racoon eyes again!
I know...make fun of me...that was stupid.
Anyway, I am off to go shower so I can go enjoy the rest of this beautiful glorious day. I am in such a good mood today, I even make myself sick! hahahaha
I hope you are all having a great day :)
xox-
annush
PS- For those people who leave comments saying that they know my friends or write to me to tell me that they've seen me places you can tell me your names and even say hello if you do see me somewhere! I don't bite...not usually anyway ;)
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Venting...
Yesterday I admitted in writing to the the world that if I ever get married I would want to be a housewife. Apparently this decision would have such a profound effect on world peace, poverty, the Ozone layer and TomKat's baby that everyone has felt the need to express THEIR dissatisfaction with what's ultimately MY decision.
Since when is being a housewife or a stay at home mom a bad decision?
Since when is having traditional values a waste of education?
Since when does putting family above work a bad decision?
Let me tell you a little story...
My mom has been on the work-force for as long as I can remember. She has somehow been able to take care of business, her family, and her home simultaneously. I applaud the way she has done it, but I am the first to admit that she has had tons of help. Growing up we had a grandma, nannies and housekeepers and drivers. I can't complain of the way I was raised because all things being considered as she was self-employed she was around more than your average working mother; however, I think back on certain times and I remember that there were days when she left for work before we left for school and was home after we were in bed.
I think that her drive may have cost her at least one or two marriages.
I wonder what it would be like if she had taken a more active role in our lives aside from delegating.
I don't judge her though. I never have. everyone is different and I know that she may not have survived the whole housewife spiel. We each do what is our calling to do and the trick is not biting off more than you can chew.
I grew up knowing what is like to have a working mom, I've grown up with ambition and curiosity and the desire to do things. But above all things, I desire to do things well and in my extremely perfectionist book, I can't do things half way and I won't.
For me, family has always come first and if one day someone manges to sweet talk me into getting married I will put the same care into that institution I willing went into as I did when I was living for/by myself. For me calling home and asking "what's for dinner?" is not an option. It's also not an option for me to have a child and let someone else raise it if I can do it myself.
All that money my parents spent on education will be better spent if I use it to raise a well rounded child than selling it to the highest bidder in corporate America. People like to bitch and whine about how children now a days are so disrespectful, and arrogant and this and that and the other but they never stop to think that this is what you get when you let a child be raised by the TV or a 12 year old babysitter.
My whole life I've been the first one to demand equal treatment (in regards to gender) in school, at home and even at work. I don't know how or when it became "anti-feminist" and even "anti-woman" to choose to run your home. Hell, the way I look at it a home is like a corporation. I'm choosing to be the CEO whereas I'm giving Prince Charming the title of CFO.
NOBODY should be judging me for wanting what I want and what's more, we should show a little respect to those stay at home moms out there. More than our sympathy they deserve our respect just as much if not more than the CEOs of corporations out there who climb up the corporate ladder sometimes at the cost of what I think are the truly important things in life.
Since when is being a housewife or a stay at home mom a bad decision?
Since when is having traditional values a waste of education?
Since when does putting family above work a bad decision?
Let me tell you a little story...
My mom has been on the work-force for as long as I can remember. She has somehow been able to take care of business, her family, and her home simultaneously. I applaud the way she has done it, but I am the first to admit that she has had tons of help. Growing up we had a grandma, nannies and housekeepers and drivers. I can't complain of the way I was raised because all things being considered as she was self-employed she was around more than your average working mother; however, I think back on certain times and I remember that there were days when she left for work before we left for school and was home after we were in bed.
I think that her drive may have cost her at least one or two marriages.
I wonder what it would be like if she had taken a more active role in our lives aside from delegating.
I don't judge her though. I never have. everyone is different and I know that she may not have survived the whole housewife spiel. We each do what is our calling to do and the trick is not biting off more than you can chew.
I grew up knowing what is like to have a working mom, I've grown up with ambition and curiosity and the desire to do things. But above all things, I desire to do things well and in my extremely perfectionist book, I can't do things half way and I won't.
For me, family has always come first and if one day someone manges to sweet talk me into getting married I will put the same care into that institution I willing went into as I did when I was living for/by myself. For me calling home and asking "what's for dinner?" is not an option. It's also not an option for me to have a child and let someone else raise it if I can do it myself.
All that money my parents spent on education will be better spent if I use it to raise a well rounded child than selling it to the highest bidder in corporate America. People like to bitch and whine about how children now a days are so disrespectful, and arrogant and this and that and the other but they never stop to think that this is what you get when you let a child be raised by the TV or a 12 year old babysitter.
My whole life I've been the first one to demand equal treatment (in regards to gender) in school, at home and even at work. I don't know how or when it became "anti-feminist" and even "anti-woman" to choose to run your home. Hell, the way I look at it a home is like a corporation. I'm choosing to be the CEO whereas I'm giving Prince Charming the title of CFO.
NOBODY should be judging me for wanting what I want and what's more, we should show a little respect to those stay at home moms out there. More than our sympathy they deserve our respect just as much if not more than the CEOs of corporations out there who climb up the corporate ladder sometimes at the cost of what I think are the truly important things in life.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Almost traditional...
I have always said that if I ever get married I am going to be a housewife. This has always been a funny thing for me to say seeing how I have so many issues with the word marriage; however, better to plan for the unexpected I always say!
Anyway...so yes...I want to be a housewife. I'll make my home my business and that will be the end of that. Everything will run smoothly: the food will be good, everything will be clean, the bills will be paid, and there will always be flowers. My whole life I've watched my mom and other equally successful mothers delegate over the phone and then get pissed off when things aren't done right; so rather than have to go through that, I'll delegate in person. (you didn't actually think I would do EVERYTHING myself, did you?)
In my mind this always seemed easy enough that it isn't stressful but challenging enough that will keep me amused. But lately I've realized that this whole "housewife business" is hard stuff...
I've been staying Chez Mama for the past couple of weeks; however, mama has been away for a good portion of this time doing her work stuff. As usual, our house has been running smoothly and my only responsability has been to scream if lunch isn't on the table by 12:30pm (my mom has this thing about everyone eating together), and yell at the pool guy if the pool is dirty.
Yesterday, Candida- the housekeeper- came to me to tell me that we were out of meats (except for chicken) and that there was some issue with our cable that I had to resolve. I didn't see how that was my problem seeing how I neither eat meat, nor watch TV but apparently it was/is...
Me: "whaaaaaaaaaat?? I am on vacation...go talk to Ivan"
Candida: Well, Ana your mother isn't here. When your mother isn't here, you are the lady of the house.
Me: the what?
Candida: someone has to delegate!
Me: who? what? me? why? that's what we pay YOU for!
Candida: Ay Anita! it's all you...you are the lady of the house!
Me: *sigh* okay...
It is a huge responsability to try to fill my mother's shoes so I've been taking this task very seriously and I've been practicing...yesterday afternoon, I lectured the laundry lady on how to properly wash whites and press delicates, last night I made sure all the plants were watered and that all 5 dogs were brushed. This morning I woke up early and made my grocery list, went to the supermarket and harassed the meat guy until he let me inside the meat freezer so I could pick the freshest meats (I am a supermarket baby...I know how it works). After I came home I made the lunch menu and made sure that everyone's nutritional needs and preferences were taken into account. I also resolved the "salt issue".
I've been chasing people around the house with coasters, I've placed ashtrays in every sitting room in this house because if not they'll use candle holders as such ("they" used to be "we" but I'm the boss now). I think that our cleaning lady whatever-her-name is hates me because I've made her clean places I don't think she thought were meant to be cleaned and I called the floor polishing guy because the floor just isn't shiny enough and I don't even want to think that it is because it's not being mopped properly.
People underestimate housewives who delegate but the thing is that before you can delegate ANYTHING you have to know how to do it yourself so you'll know whether or not it's been done properly or teach someone how to do it in the event of an emergency. In that way, though I've never HAD to do much housework, I have learned how to do everything myself.
I am taking this new task quite seriously...call it adventure #2 is you will...hell, I think that my inner grandma, she who only comes out when I am in the process of moving or my apartment is a mess, has come out again and is trying to take over the happy go lucky existance of Ana. This is fun though...
I'll just be pissed when my mom comes back and takes over again :P
Monday, October 17, 2005
and then there was Google...
I have always been amazed by the incredible amount of information you can gather from people on the internet. Once I googled myself and I was relieved to find that I have such a generic name that there are literally hundreds of listings that have nothing to do with me thereby giving me a sense of privacy. Then I googled my nickname and found links to my blog and a number of other things I have written. Shortly thereafter, my friend CH told me that if you google certain specific events the first links are about me or links to my photo album or even my blog.
As none of this information has ever damaged me in any way, I have never really cared about the fact that a good portion of my life is simply a click away. That was until last week.
My 3-D friends are in the habit of sending me stuff so that we can "stay connected". In my book, if you have my email address and my phone number you are as connected to me as you can get; however, some people need to feel more connected than that and so they usually send me invites to every "get connected site" there is so I humor them. At my friends' requests I have joined hi5, my space, a small world, friendster, where are you now? and I am sure I am missing one but I can't remember what it is. Normally, I don't add strangers and because I keep my buddy lists limited to my 3-D friends I don't usually get any surprises.
Last week, I received an email from someone I used to know back in High School.
I don't have any issues with my past or any nasty memories or anything like that. As a matter of fact, I had a very pleasant HS experience; however, that was my past and I put it behind me and I have never been interested in reliving it or dwell on it. It was really weird for me to run into J last summer, and I didn't expect to run into anyone else or even have to think about anyone else until my HS reunion. This definitely changed my plans.
So this guy I used to know wrote to me last week after he found me online. He remembered me pretty damn well whereas I had to look at his profile picture in 100 different ways and then ask him his last name before I knew who he was. I was polite, I wrote him back. I made small talk. I thought that would be the end of that.
One of the joys of small town living though is that everyone knows everything about everyone and one incident creates a chain reaction.
On Friday, I received another email. This time the email was from a HS friend. In a way I was glad to hear from her and I recognized her name immediately; however, it was hard to catch up because there are 9 years of nothing in between. She has since moved to NY and built a nice little life for herself but in her writings I see that she has not moved on from her small town ways and I can't find a way to relate to her. My experiences may have turned me into a snob.
Today, I received yet another email. One of the girls I used to smoke with in the bathroom (yeah, I was one of those girls) decided to keep in touch. That was weird because we were never close to begin with and because we had J related issues back then and although that obviously means nothing now, in trying to remember the way we were that just keeps coming back to me.
I feel overwhelmed by it all. I've gone from wanting to delete my profile from each and everyone of these services as well as my photo albums and even this blog to having to come to terms with the fact that the past will catch up with me sooner or later. The thing is that I don't know why I care so much. To an extent I feel like my privacy has been invaded but I can't think that because I put myself out there.
How can we keep a sense of privacy in a world where information has become more and more accessible?
I used to have issues with Google Earth...I think that the realm of my issues is expanding in a whole new way...
As none of this information has ever damaged me in any way, I have never really cared about the fact that a good portion of my life is simply a click away. That was until last week.
My 3-D friends are in the habit of sending me stuff so that we can "stay connected". In my book, if you have my email address and my phone number you are as connected to me as you can get; however, some people need to feel more connected than that and so they usually send me invites to every "get connected site" there is so I humor them. At my friends' requests I have joined hi5, my space, a small world, friendster, where are you now? and I am sure I am missing one but I can't remember what it is. Normally, I don't add strangers and because I keep my buddy lists limited to my 3-D friends I don't usually get any surprises.
Last week, I received an email from someone I used to know back in High School.
I don't have any issues with my past or any nasty memories or anything like that. As a matter of fact, I had a very pleasant HS experience; however, that was my past and I put it behind me and I have never been interested in reliving it or dwell on it. It was really weird for me to run into J last summer, and I didn't expect to run into anyone else or even have to think about anyone else until my HS reunion. This definitely changed my plans.
So this guy I used to know wrote to me last week after he found me online. He remembered me pretty damn well whereas I had to look at his profile picture in 100 different ways and then ask him his last name before I knew who he was. I was polite, I wrote him back. I made small talk. I thought that would be the end of that.
One of the joys of small town living though is that everyone knows everything about everyone and one incident creates a chain reaction.
On Friday, I received another email. This time the email was from a HS friend. In a way I was glad to hear from her and I recognized her name immediately; however, it was hard to catch up because there are 9 years of nothing in between. She has since moved to NY and built a nice little life for herself but in her writings I see that she has not moved on from her small town ways and I can't find a way to relate to her. My experiences may have turned me into a snob.
Today, I received yet another email. One of the girls I used to smoke with in the bathroom (yeah, I was one of those girls) decided to keep in touch. That was weird because we were never close to begin with and because we had J related issues back then and although that obviously means nothing now, in trying to remember the way we were that just keeps coming back to me.
I feel overwhelmed by it all. I've gone from wanting to delete my profile from each and everyone of these services as well as my photo albums and even this blog to having to come to terms with the fact that the past will catch up with me sooner or later. The thing is that I don't know why I care so much. To an extent I feel like my privacy has been invaded but I can't think that because I put myself out there.
How can we keep a sense of privacy in a world where information has become more and more accessible?
I used to have issues with Google Earth...I think that the realm of my issues is expanding in a whole new way...
Friday, October 14, 2005
ACF
Whenever I am at my mom's I always get the feeling that we (my brothers and I) get treated as child-like adults. Inside of our home, it seems as though we have 0 responsabilities and each and every one of our needs is taken care of for us. Everyday there are three different meals waiting for us on the table at mealtimes, our rooms are clean and tidy within an hour after we wake up. Our sheets, our towels and even our shower courtains are monogrammed and changed every other day. Hell, everything we own is monogrammed...It is as if our initials mean something special.
...Actually we get treated as if we really are something special.
This morning I woke up and found our sunglasses and keys (except for Gus's) on the table. I thought that was cute as hell. Now we don't even have to look for our keys! Every day I find myself making less and less effort and I think that pretty soon I'm going to feel completely useless.
These are the things that my mom will do to entice us to stay home: make us think that we'll never have it this good anywhere- which really does seem true.
Everytime I come back, even if for a day, I find it too easy to get used to this and to an extent I find it worrysome even though it's been proven time and time again that I am in fact capable of doing my own laundry, doing my own dishes and of getting my own towels and sheets monogrammed (I don't mess with my linens!).
My mom always said that when I get married and leave home (because even though I haven't lived here in a good 7 years she swears that this is my home and my apartment is a temporary place of residence) I should do it in a way that I will allow me to live just as well or better than I do now. In layman's terms I think that means "marry rich". I would NEVER marry someone for money, I don't know if I would want to live like this forever and I certainly wouldn't raise my kids the way we were raised but I don't think that I could ever do without the kind of comforts I've lived with my whole life. Some things in life are simply necessary like 1000+ TC monogrammed sheets...
Thursday, October 13, 2005
the PC term for stalker is paparazzi!
I should become a professional stalker.
Last night while we waited for Sara to finish getting ready, I was chatting with my buddy Enrique who told me that Mr. Colin Farrell is in town shooting scenes for Miami Vice. As I almost had a heart attack knowing that my favorite Irish slut was once again within the confines of the same zip code as me (back in July, I saw them filming in Miami), I immediately started concocting a plan so that I may figure out if he really is as hot as they say.
After I found out where he is staying, we started brainstorming and agreed that the best place for us to start looking for him on a rainy Wednesday night was the casino. We agreed to go there after the party.
The party last night was good though there were far less people than I anticipated. It was good though as it allowed me to ease into the different groups again rather than diving right in. I had a few drinks, ate a whole lot of ceviche, and even practiced my salsa (I still kick ass)!
I didn't buy myself a new outfit. It was raining too hard and I wasn't enthusiastic at all about spending money in yet another black dress so I improvised with pieces I haven't worn more than once and it worked. I was complemented all night.
Last night while we waited for Sara to finish getting ready, I was chatting with my buddy Enrique who told me that Mr. Colin Farrell is in town shooting scenes for Miami Vice. As I almost had a heart attack knowing that my favorite Irish slut was once again within the confines of the same zip code as me (back in July, I saw them filming in Miami), I immediately started concocting a plan so that I may figure out if he really is as hot as they say.
After I found out where he is staying, we started brainstorming and agreed that the best place for us to start looking for him on a rainy Wednesday night was the casino. We agreed to go there after the party.
The party last night was good though there were far less people than I anticipated. It was good though as it allowed me to ease into the different groups again rather than diving right in. I had a few drinks, ate a whole lot of ceviche, and even practiced my salsa (I still kick ass)!
I didn't buy myself a new outfit. It was raining too hard and I wasn't enthusiastic at all about spending money in yet another black dress so I improvised with pieces I haven't worn more than once and it worked. I was complemented all night.
Sarah-Ana-Lilli 
Yvette and me!
So we had tons of fun and I even fell in lust! Unfortunately for me, I can't go there for a number of resons. Let me just say that HWMNBN is haunting my existance...
After that, we went to the casino. In the parking lot we stumbled across many other Colin Farrell stalker wanna-bes but they didn't even make it inside the casino. HA!
Anyway, non-gambling me together with Ivan and Lilli and the later Gus and Sarah gambled for what felt like forever (it was really like an hour though). We took advantage of the free drinks and cigarrettes while we lost excessive amounts of money. We made friends with one of the card dealers who told us that he had in fact been in the casino the night before but not until VERY late. It was somewhat late and we noticed unusual amounts of security (and white people) and tables being cleared so we figured he'd be coming but I don't deal well with loss. ESPECIALLY when it comes to money. So we left.
My only consolation is that Santo Domingo isn't that big and that there are only so many places he can go and I have access to all of them. If he is here long enough I'll run into him sooner or later.
Maybe even tonight in my least favorite place at that particular "your weight x 4" open bar. hahaha...what will people think of next?
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Happy Birthday Ugly Girl!
Today is ugly girl's birthday (only I can call her ugly girl)...She is turning 19 (really 26). In celebration, she is having a masquerade party tonight for 150 of her closest friends, in a place I've never been to. The evite requests that the party goers wear black. I gotta' go shopping.
It is also Valeria's birthday...she is turning 26 either in Hamburg or in Quito...
And Jenny's birthday as well...She is turning 23 somewhere in Maryland (unless she is in Frankfurt).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS!!
---------------
Due to the weather conditions in good ole' Santo Domingo this week (rain, rain and even more rain), I've spent the better part of the week chilling at home. I know that I had been craving some relaxation and sleep but I kinda' miss some of the excitement of last week.
The highlights of my life these days have been:
1. trying to put together a business plan for the worse business imaginable
2. going to the hairdressesr (i love the hairdresser!)
3. shopping for ugly girl's birthday gift
4. trying to translate the names of spices so that I can cook.
Today my project is leg waxing and dress buying.
I know that as a good New Yorker I own enough black clothes that I would make Trent Reznor proud; however, I am on a mission to look extra nice today. This is the first time in years (about 5 years) I am going to be in a confined space with pretty much every Dominican I've ever befriended. A lot has happened in those 5 years.
In retrospect I should have kept in touch better so that tonight I wouldn't have to try so hard. Oh well!
Or I could pretend I'm someone else...chances are that with a mask over my eyes and obscene amounts of make-up nobody will know it's me :)
...but the last time I played one of those role playing games...hahaha...it took me a while to get back to being myself...though my alter ego was so much more fun!
If worse comes to worse at least I'll have my entourage...hahaha
I miss Starbucks a lot these days. Here it's a real pain in the ass to find a latte just the way you want it without going so far as making it myself. I've found a bakery/cafe that makes awesome coffee and has yummy treats, though it's not exactely in my neighborhood: Panavi. It would be great if they delivered.
It's too early and I've writen a lot about nothing. I think later I'll come back and write about something of substance like Dan's theory that people who live at home until marriage live an "unrealistic life and are by-products of the ritzy life scene".
I love Dan, but sometimes his narrow mindedness makes me want to beat him up.
Actually, I'll just make my peace with that now:
A couple of days ago, Dan sent me a link to an article written by who I presume is nothing more than a bitter, ugly woman bashing the generation of women who came about as a result of Sex and the City. I was only supossed to read the first two paragraphs, so I read just that. Anyway, I found the article to be a personal attack on the women of my generation so I wrote him back:
"I think that the success of Sex and the City was in that it celebrated female friendship in a stylish way without ever giving all the power to a man. It was about time this happened if you ask me! I think that the women who could enjoy expensive wardrobes did well before S&TC and hotties usually band together...But when I did see it [ S&TC], I saw an older version of myself and of most of the women I know (...) enjoying a productive friendship and living life on THEIR terms. That was the kind of life I expected (and still do) to have in my late 30's. My priorities have never involved being a plane Jane with monofacetic friendships. If this makes women unbearable then men have been unbearable all along."
So then he responded with the following:
"this wasn't a dig at you it was a social commentary of the unrealistic life that most of the young Manhattanites (both male and female) seem to be driven by. This includes people who despite being in their late twenties through mid thirties for the most part lived a rent/ expense free existence while driving new (and sometimes) fancy cars, going out clubbing all of the time, and not batting an eye at a $100 bottle of wine during dinner. These are the types of people who live an unrealistic illusion. These are also the bi- product of the ritzy bar scene. It is not you."
So I said:
"In defense of those families...I don't think they live an unrealistic illusion. It is simply a cultural thing. In my culture people don't leave home until they are married either. "
That got me no response.
And no response bugs me more than a bad response because it shows me that he really believes this and he is not willing to discuss it.
In my culture it is expected that you'll live at home until you get married. In recent years this has changed because people are not getting married as young as they used to and for a number of other reasons; but staying home is by no means an unrealistic illusion or something that's even frowned upon. Hell, in my book an unrealistic illusion is to go out into the world and be broke all the time, having to live with a stranger or being entirely alone- unless you ABSOLUTELY have to!
I left home at 19 and have been back for short periods of time since, but I left because of geography not because I believe in the "unrealistic illusion".
I think it is an "unrealistic ilussion" to think that you are a better person if you leave home so you can impress the Dan types as opossed to the one person who lives at home, and leads a quality life. At least in my culture, we are raised to help the family and to keep the family running as a unit until other units are created. We think as a group. And for better or for worse I like it better that way.
It is also Valeria's birthday...she is turning 26 either in Hamburg or in Quito...
And Jenny's birthday as well...She is turning 23 somewhere in Maryland (unless she is in Frankfurt).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS!!
---------------
Due to the weather conditions in good ole' Santo Domingo this week (rain, rain and even more rain), I've spent the better part of the week chilling at home. I know that I had been craving some relaxation and sleep but I kinda' miss some of the excitement of last week.
The highlights of my life these days have been:
1. trying to put together a business plan for the worse business imaginable
2. going to the hairdressesr (i love the hairdresser!)
3. shopping for ugly girl's birthday gift
4. trying to translate the names of spices so that I can cook.
Today my project is leg waxing and dress buying.
I know that as a good New Yorker I own enough black clothes that I would make Trent Reznor proud; however, I am on a mission to look extra nice today. This is the first time in years (about 5 years) I am going to be in a confined space with pretty much every Dominican I've ever befriended. A lot has happened in those 5 years.
In retrospect I should have kept in touch better so that tonight I wouldn't have to try so hard. Oh well!
Or I could pretend I'm someone else...chances are that with a mask over my eyes and obscene amounts of make-up nobody will know it's me :)
...but the last time I played one of those role playing games...hahaha...it took me a while to get back to being myself...though my alter ego was so much more fun!
If worse comes to worse at least I'll have my entourage...hahaha
I miss Starbucks a lot these days. Here it's a real pain in the ass to find a latte just the way you want it without going so far as making it myself. I've found a bakery/cafe that makes awesome coffee and has yummy treats, though it's not exactely in my neighborhood: Panavi. It would be great if they delivered.
It's too early and I've writen a lot about nothing. I think later I'll come back and write about something of substance like Dan's theory that people who live at home until marriage live an "unrealistic life and are by-products of the ritzy life scene".
I love Dan, but sometimes his narrow mindedness makes me want to beat him up.
Actually, I'll just make my peace with that now:
A couple of days ago, Dan sent me a link to an article written by who I presume is nothing more than a bitter, ugly woman bashing the generation of women who came about as a result of Sex and the City. I was only supossed to read the first two paragraphs, so I read just that. Anyway, I found the article to be a personal attack on the women of my generation so I wrote him back:
"I think that the success of Sex and the City was in that it celebrated female friendship in a stylish way without ever giving all the power to a man. It was about time this happened if you ask me! I think that the women who could enjoy expensive wardrobes did well before S&TC and hotties usually band together...But when I did see it [ S&TC], I saw an older version of myself and of most of the women I know (...) enjoying a productive friendship and living life on THEIR terms. That was the kind of life I expected (and still do) to have in my late 30's. My priorities have never involved being a plane Jane with monofacetic friendships. If this makes women unbearable then men have been unbearable all along."
So then he responded with the following:
"this wasn't a dig at you it was a social commentary of the unrealistic life that most of the young Manhattanites (both male and female) seem to be driven by. This includes people who despite being in their late twenties through mid thirties for the most part lived a rent/ expense free existence while driving new (and sometimes) fancy cars, going out clubbing all of the time, and not batting an eye at a $100 bottle of wine during dinner. These are the types of people who live an unrealistic illusion. These are also the bi- product of the ritzy bar scene. It is not you."
So I said:
"In defense of those families...I don't think they live an unrealistic illusion. It is simply a cultural thing. In my culture people don't leave home until they are married either. "
That got me no response.
And no response bugs me more than a bad response because it shows me that he really believes this and he is not willing to discuss it.
In my culture it is expected that you'll live at home until you get married. In recent years this has changed because people are not getting married as young as they used to and for a number of other reasons; but staying home is by no means an unrealistic illusion or something that's even frowned upon. Hell, in my book an unrealistic illusion is to go out into the world and be broke all the time, having to live with a stranger or being entirely alone- unless you ABSOLUTELY have to!
I left home at 19 and have been back for short periods of time since, but I left because of geography not because I believe in the "unrealistic illusion".
I think it is an "unrealistic ilussion" to think that you are a better person if you leave home so you can impress the Dan types as opossed to the one person who lives at home, and leads a quality life. At least in my culture, we are raised to help the family and to keep the family running as a unit until other units are created. We think as a group. And for better or for worse I like it better that way.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Musica loca para bailar!
"I can't sleep, something's all over me,
Greasy, insomnia please release me,
And let me dream about making mad love on the heath..."
-Insomnia by Faithless
I have done nothing productive in the past week unless you count drinking, smoking, dancing and shopping as such. This vacation is going to age me 10 years.
It's been a while since I have slept longer than four hours. I would say maybe about a week if not more. I'm so tired there are no words. This weekend I had every intention of catching up on my sleep and stuff but between the guests that come over and stay until ungodly hours and the dogs that start barking at like 6am it's been difficult.
Friday night I tried to be in bed midnight, was really in bed at 1:30am and woke up at 6am. Last night, though I had agreed to go to Ricky's birthday party and then was planning to go to Mr. Black's party, I went to bed at 8:45pm. Lilly, however, woke me up at 9:30pm to drag me to Ricky's and after a 25 minute discussion I went back to bed with the promise that I'd wake up an hour later and go join them at the party. I was lying. At 10:30pm Sarah woke me up to remind me to call her if we ended up going to Mr. Black's party. I went back to sleep.
At 1:30am Gus wakes me up again to ask me if I wanted to go to the Mr. Black party. At that point I had been woken up so many times that I was just like "let me put on some jeans".
*This Mr. Black was just too popular last night!
At 2:30am, Gus, Tabatha, Cesar, Miho and I* headed out to a party that was almost an hour away in a farm. It was raining cats and dogs so when we got there was a huge puddle of mud to get into the place. But the music was pretty good. We were around for DJ Scoy and Mr. Black. We left almost at 5:00am and voted against the after-party once we got home.
I really wanted to go to this party and had a good time while there but I am convinced that the party would have been WAY better had it not been raining.
Today I woke up at 10:00am. I had breakfast and have been bumming around ever since. It's still raining. I think I should go back to bed...
I also think I should throw my camera in my bag...I'm slacking off with the pictures.
***UPDATE: For pictures click here.
*Not necessarily our real names
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I found the lesson!
After yesterday's post I got an email or two commenting on how strict I can be when it comes to people.
At first I was somewhat offended over what seemed like a baseless assumption; however, after giving it some thought, this is probably true. I hold people to standards that they may never be able to meet and then as a result, people inevitably fail me.
The higher the pedestal the harder the fall.
Today I realized that these are probably my worse qualities: I am critical and judgmental.
On the upside, I make no secret of it. On the downside, it never seems like I am this way towards everybody (including myself) just "everyone else".
I always thought that it was a good thing that I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and give everyone a score of 10 (unless I just don't like them) upon first meeting. Although I am of the belief that it is better to be pleasantly surprised than disappoitned, I never applied this concept to my relationships with people and in retrospect this has caused me a lot of heartache and has caused me to look down on relatively good people.
This is especially true with those I really care about. The more I love the higher the bar.
Nobody is perfect and I always expect that everyone will be so and this is probably because I cringe at the thought that I will not be able to deliver what's expected of me; to be the person that they need me to be. Though I march to my own drummer and always have, I've learned to make concessions so that at least in terms of what's important I'll be able to please everyone.
But you can't please everybody.
I now think that it is better to start at 0 and let people work their way up and earn their points. This is going to be my new M.O. If I fail someone I'll still be pissed, but I will try to be more leniant on how I see other people. People do make mistakes. I will try to remember that.
At first I was somewhat offended over what seemed like a baseless assumption; however, after giving it some thought, this is probably true. I hold people to standards that they may never be able to meet and then as a result, people inevitably fail me.
The higher the pedestal the harder the fall.
Today I realized that these are probably my worse qualities: I am critical and judgmental.
On the upside, I make no secret of it. On the downside, it never seems like I am this way towards everybody (including myself) just "everyone else".
I always thought that it was a good thing that I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and give everyone a score of 10 (unless I just don't like them) upon first meeting. Although I am of the belief that it is better to be pleasantly surprised than disappoitned, I never applied this concept to my relationships with people and in retrospect this has caused me a lot of heartache and has caused me to look down on relatively good people.
This is especially true with those I really care about. The more I love the higher the bar.
Nobody is perfect and I always expect that everyone will be so and this is probably because I cringe at the thought that I will not be able to deliver what's expected of me; to be the person that they need me to be. Though I march to my own drummer and always have, I've learned to make concessions so that at least in terms of what's important I'll be able to please everyone.
But you can't please everybody.
I now think that it is better to start at 0 and let people work their way up and earn their points. This is going to be my new M.O. If I fail someone I'll still be pissed, but I will try to be more leniant on how I see other people. People do make mistakes. I will try to remember that.
...and don't forget the salt for the lemons!
I just thought of an old TV commercial that had a little girl singing a song that went something like this:
"drugs and alcohol are both the same they make soup out of your brain. I don't wanna be pea soup! I don't wanna be a potato! I don't wanna be chicken soup! I just wanna be me!"
Tonight I went to Abacus with my brothers, their respective girlfriends, a couple of friends and our alter egos (Loretta, Tabatha, Black Mamba, and Miho) after having gone to Steakhouse Cafe for happy hour. Our fun today involved large amounts of alcohol.
This isn't the first time that I have gone out drinking and it isn't the first time that I have seen someone get drunk (obviously I am not speaking about myself in this case). It was, however, the first time that I saw someone I like a lot get drunk and I found myself unable to recognize the person they had become.
For the first time in my life, I didn't like someone I like- if that even makes sense.
We were having tons of fun. Actually, our fun never really stopped. We talked, we danced, we planned for tomorrow (we are making sushi), all the while plenty of vodka was downed. Next thing I knew, this eloquent witty person had become a blubbering idiot. I asked this person if they were drunk and they were like "not at all!" and yet it was like talking to somebody else.
Apparently though this is a regular occurrance: They drink and they make an ass out of themselves.
I was embarrassed for them.
I think back on the times when I have been drunk, including the day I got alcohol poisoning (3 drinks!) and I can't think of one time when I wasn't concerned of what people would think of me or a time when I wasn't the first one to want to go to bed. Maybe that's just me though.
I am judging and comapring and I shouldn't be. But I am worried and I am sad.
It's really unfortunate that the impression that this person worked so hard to make would pretty much go to shit just because they couldn't say "I'm done for the night". It's very sad to see people who truly care about this person try to explain something they can't even understand. It's extremely worrysome to consider the possibility that this person may be at risk for a serious problem such as alcoholism and they don't realize it.
Drinking really does make people stupid if you don't know when to stop. And then to add insult to injury, it will leave you with a hangover from hell.
At times like these I wish our culture were okay with things like weed smoking per se, which doesn't cause nearly as much of a personality change. I am not advocating drug use; I just wish that things were different and that I (or any of us really) didn't have to bear witness to a good person at one of their lower points just because they couldn't see that they were too drunk.
"drugs and alcohol are both the same they make soup out of your brain. I don't wanna be pea soup! I don't wanna be a potato! I don't wanna be chicken soup! I just wanna be me!"
Tonight I went to Abacus with my brothers, their respective girlfriends, a couple of friends and our alter egos (Loretta, Tabatha, Black Mamba, and Miho) after having gone to Steakhouse Cafe for happy hour. Our fun today involved large amounts of alcohol.
This isn't the first time that I have gone out drinking and it isn't the first time that I have seen someone get drunk (obviously I am not speaking about myself in this case). It was, however, the first time that I saw someone I like a lot get drunk and I found myself unable to recognize the person they had become.
For the first time in my life, I didn't like someone I like- if that even makes sense.
We were having tons of fun. Actually, our fun never really stopped. We talked, we danced, we planned for tomorrow (we are making sushi), all the while plenty of vodka was downed. Next thing I knew, this eloquent witty person had become a blubbering idiot. I asked this person if they were drunk and they were like "not at all!" and yet it was like talking to somebody else.
Apparently though this is a regular occurrance: They drink and they make an ass out of themselves.
I was embarrassed for them.
I think back on the times when I have been drunk, including the day I got alcohol poisoning (3 drinks!) and I can't think of one time when I wasn't concerned of what people would think of me or a time when I wasn't the first one to want to go to bed. Maybe that's just me though.
I am judging and comapring and I shouldn't be. But I am worried and I am sad.
It's really unfortunate that the impression that this person worked so hard to make would pretty much go to shit just because they couldn't say "I'm done for the night". It's very sad to see people who truly care about this person try to explain something they can't even understand. It's extremely worrysome to consider the possibility that this person may be at risk for a serious problem such as alcoholism and they don't realize it.
Drinking really does make people stupid if you don't know when to stop. And then to add insult to injury, it will leave you with a hangover from hell.
At times like these I wish our culture were okay with things like weed smoking per se, which doesn't cause nearly as much of a personality change. I am not advocating drug use; I just wish that things were different and that I (or any of us really) didn't have to bear witness to a good person at one of their lower points just because they couldn't see that they were too drunk.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Pardon me while I burst...
Some days are just too incredibly long...
Since I've been home, I've been spending a lot of time with the family. Specifically, I've been spending a lot of time with my brothers and their respective girlfriends. Normally I really wouldn't care less about this; however, due to the fact that this is the first time that they each have seemingly serious girlfriends simultaneously, these days I care just a little bit.
If being a third wheel is bad, imagine what is like being a fifth wheel.
Both girls are nice. On the most part they go out of their way to make sure that I am having a good time and their efforts are always greatly appreciated. We laugh together, we make plans together, and in an effort to be civil I've even gone so far as to let one of them borrow my shoes and anyone who has ever met me can attest to the fact that I LOVE MY SHOES and hence I don't share them.
But they are not my girlfriends and at the end of the day I know that I'm just a stepping stone on their way to achieving family bliss. I've been there myself. I know how it goes.
These days I've been wishing I was in a relationship. Not for need of companionship, but to even out the numbers. To know that I have an ally that's not out to be my friend because it would make things easier but because they really want to be.
I keep thinking that I should find myself a little blonde boyfriend (both girls are blondes) so that I can look at them together and easily identify THEM from US. For some reason I can't understand this seems important to me. Although we have all grown up I have a hard time getting used to the idea that someday this may not be my family anymore because we'll each have families of our own.
I worry that I may not know how to be part of anything else or worse yet, that I may not be able to unbiasedly include anyone else. Nobody ever seems good enough for them. Though maybe they aren't that good to begin with which then makes me ask myself what does that say about me since they are the standard against which I measure everyone else...
That's the problem with being brough up as part of a "team".
Since I've been home, I've been spending a lot of time with the family. Specifically, I've been spending a lot of time with my brothers and their respective girlfriends. Normally I really wouldn't care less about this; however, due to the fact that this is the first time that they each have seemingly serious girlfriends simultaneously, these days I care just a little bit.
If being a third wheel is bad, imagine what is like being a fifth wheel.
Both girls are nice. On the most part they go out of their way to make sure that I am having a good time and their efforts are always greatly appreciated. We laugh together, we make plans together, and in an effort to be civil I've even gone so far as to let one of them borrow my shoes and anyone who has ever met me can attest to the fact that I LOVE MY SHOES and hence I don't share them.
But they are not my girlfriends and at the end of the day I know that I'm just a stepping stone on their way to achieving family bliss. I've been there myself. I know how it goes.
These days I've been wishing I was in a relationship. Not for need of companionship, but to even out the numbers. To know that I have an ally that's not out to be my friend because it would make things easier but because they really want to be.
I keep thinking that I should find myself a little blonde boyfriend (both girls are blondes) so that I can look at them together and easily identify THEM from US. For some reason I can't understand this seems important to me. Although we have all grown up I have a hard time getting used to the idea that someday this may not be my family anymore because we'll each have families of our own.
I worry that I may not know how to be part of anything else or worse yet, that I may not be able to unbiasedly include anyone else. Nobody ever seems good enough for them. Though maybe they aren't that good to begin with which then makes me ask myself what does that say about me since they are the standard against which I measure everyone else...
That's the problem with being brough up as part of a "team".
Sunday, October 02, 2005
La Poderosa
My grandpa is the best.
In my family I was the firstborn child, the very first grandchild, and for a long time the only girl. As you can probably imagine, I was spoiled rotten. My mom always tells stories about how I was so wanted and loved that there wasn't a day in my life when I wasn't showered with gifts and that as I grew these gifts, although they became fewer and further between, they became more and more thought out and in turn truly special.
Well...
This past week, in celebration of my mother's birthday which is actually today (Happy Birthday Mama!) we went to my grandpa's hometown which is where my mom holds part-time residence. I hadn't seen my grandpa in a while. Actually, I didn't even get to see him this time because he was at the farm (he is an organic banana exporter and he also raises chickens); however, when I arrived at his house, there was a homecoming gift waiting for me...
For the past several weeks, I have been talking about buying a bicycle or a Vespa because I refuse to spend more money than absolutely necessary in gas- not to mention that I get a kick out of such things. Four days ago, I got as a gift from my grandpa a motorcycle. It's not a huge super duper motorcycle but I thought it was the coolest thing since Wonder bread. I named it La Poderosa, after the one in Motorcycle Diaries.
Everyone thinks that now that I have ridden, and fallen, I have gotten the desire to continue riding La Poderosa out of my system. I have not though. If anything now I am on a mission to learn how to stop! Ha! this may be my first fall before the many that could lead me in the path of becoming the next Jeremy McGrath.
It would be so much fun!
I am out looking for adventures. This was adventure #1.
In my family I was the firstborn child, the very first grandchild, and for a long time the only girl. As you can probably imagine, I was spoiled rotten. My mom always tells stories about how I was so wanted and loved that there wasn't a day in my life when I wasn't showered with gifts and that as I grew these gifts, although they became fewer and further between, they became more and more thought out and in turn truly special.
Well...
This past week, in celebration of my mother's birthday which is actually today (Happy Birthday Mama!) we went to my grandpa's hometown which is where my mom holds part-time residence. I hadn't seen my grandpa in a while. Actually, I didn't even get to see him this time because he was at the farm (he is an organic banana exporter and he also raises chickens); however, when I arrived at his house, there was a homecoming gift waiting for me...
For the past several weeks, I have been talking about buying a bicycle or a Vespa because I refuse to spend more money than absolutely necessary in gas- not to mention that I get a kick out of such things. Four days ago, I got as a gift from my grandpa a motorcycle. It's not a huge super duper motorcycle but I thought it was the coolest thing since Wonder bread. I named it La Poderosa, after the one in Motorcycle Diaries.
The thing is that I didn't know how to ride anything other than a bike due to the fact that growing up we were never encouraged or even allowed to ride anything other than bikes. As a result, I spent the better part of last week learning how to ride.
And I learned.
I was riding that thing all over town like a bat out of hell. La Poderosa could go 120kph and I was taking advantage of a nearly deserted coastal highway to learn what I could and could not do with it. If I may say so myself, I looked like a damn cute badass riding around with my purple helmet :)
The problem was that I was having issues stopping.
My feet are pretty small and so in order to switch gears or step on the break I literally had to lift my foot and move it in a weird way so that I could actually reach the pedal. Yesterday, after I finished one of my many rides I crashed into the gate of my mother's house.
I thought it was pretty funny to be completely honest. My mom didn't. Neither did Gus.
Although my injuries consisted mainly of a few cuts on my fingers and a few bruises on my leg and my collar bone area, La Poderosa had a REALLY rough fall. Now she needs plastic surgery.
Everyone thinks that now that I have ridden, and fallen, I have gotten the desire to continue riding La Poderosa out of my system. I have not though. If anything now I am on a mission to learn how to stop! Ha! this may be my first fall before the many that could lead me in the path of becoming the next Jeremy McGrath.It would be so much fun!
I am out looking for adventures. This was adventure #1.
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