The other day I was chatting with my mom regarding the absolute exhaustion work has been causing me. Although I realize that my job isn’t any more demanding than the average person’s and that I’m lucky in the sense that part of the “perks” of my job include things I lack in my everyday life (ie- real food, classy entertainment), lately I’ve been toying with the idea of taking a sabbatical so that I may regain my strength.
My mom says this is a good plan.
To take it a step further, my mom suggested that I quit my job and move back home where I can make my purpose for living going to the gym, learning how to cook and playing with my dogs, among other fun pointless things.
To an extent, I liked her suggestion though I do remember the fact that this is a woman who very recently was telling me about her scheme to kick my brothers out of the house again, if not out of the country altogether in the hopes that they will each “find their way”.
So I asked her “why do you want me back and not them?”
And this is when she broke out into what I now call “The Politics of Child Rearing”.
According to my mother, for as long as she has been a parent she has been very clear as to what she hopes for and expects for each of us. She also understands the role that each of us will take in society and as such, she has looked to prepare us to fit that role to the best of our abilities.
“I am raising your brothers to be great professionals who will also one day be heads of households. They need to be out in the world alone so that they are not ‘mama’s boys’. They have to fend for themselves so they can learn how to fend for their families. You, on the other hand, I have raised to be not only a scholar but a wife and a mother. You were meant to be taken care of; yet, it is you that keeps running away from who you really are”.
EEK! Talk about a double standard!
Growing up I never wanted to be a wife or a mother. It wasn’t until relatively recently that my maternal instincts kicked in and I have yet to feel the desire to be married. All I wanted back then and still now, is to be independent; though I do have to recognize that I was raised to be half of something.
My mother, she who has refused to live in a home that doesn’t have bedrooms for her already grown children, wants us to be successful out in the world. I applaud this. What I don’t understand is exactly how it would be okay for me to move back home and waste my productive years doing nothing and yet it’s not okay for my brothers who are each doing something to stay where they are. Hmmmmm
This would be so much easier had I just been a trust fund baby!