Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Rituals.

I am losing the desire to continue keeping this blog.

I have to blame my vacation for this.

For the 9 months that I've been keeping this blog, most of the time I wrote from the comfort of my office while I ate my salad and sipped my seltzer during lunch. These were things that until recently I associated to each other and as such without the one, the other wasn't nearly as entertaining.

rituals
1. A ceremonial act or a series of such acts.
2. The performance of such acts.
3. A detailed method of procedure faithfully or regularly followed.
4. A state or condition characterized by the presence of established procedure or routine.

*Source: Dictionary.com

I like to think that I'm someone who is not entirely predictable (or anal-retentive); however, I am the first to admit that I am a creature of habit. In the uncertainty of my everyday existance I find comfort in observing the rituals that adorn each unplanned event in my life. I think that in some ways, rituals are something that I recognize when everythign else seems alien.

Ever since I started my sabbatycal, a lot of my rituals have had to be either modified or stopped altogether. Needless to say, my whole existance seems completely out of sync as a result. I think that a disorganized life reflects a disorganized existance and right now, being in a territory that I haven't fully familiarized myself with yet, I feel like an internal mess.

As I write this, I am looking to start new rituals or to find a way to acomodate the old ones to this new situation I find myself in. It's taking me a while but these things can't be rushed. I wasn't born with the instinct of having a coffee cup on my hand every morning. Everything has to make sense within it's given frame of reference and the things that are carried from a previous life have to allow for growth and not keep you living in the past.

For what is worth, I'd like to keep writing here. I always found this to be a positive release; however, I don't know if there is room for this particular ritual in my current life as nothing else within it seems to compliment it and for me blogging was part of an activity, not the whole.

"...One must observe the proper rites..."
"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.
"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox.
"They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours."
-The Little Prince

12 comments:

KARAKALA said...

Don't worry Annush, if you need to take a hiatus from blogging then do so.

You will find what it is you are looking for in your journey.

Take care of yourself. I hope I am not just speaking for myself, but your writing gave me hope to look at life in a brighter angle.

Your happiness helped.

Good Luck. Mucho hugs.

Jonas said...

Writing can be good therapy and a way to keep people up to date on the happenings in your life. But if it becomes an obligation then it is no longer fun. Which is what this should be. A creative outlet, a voice.

AVA said...

Oh Annush!! don't stop blogging!! one of our rituals is reading your blog... Even at this time in your life, you will find that it's always healthy or even 'sane' to have a place where you can vent out your worries. And we will always be around to listen to them... No matter which rituals you keep and which new ones you adopt.

Grant said...

If you stop blogging you will face the voodoo wrath of Zorzan. :p

Seriously, if you don't feel like blogging, we'll miss you but we'll understand. I hope you're not planning to delete this blog. Just come back to us when the mood strikes you.

Tank said...

We'll miss ya! I've always enjoyed popping in and reading your blog, I may not have left comments all the time but I've enjoyed the reading. If you need to take a break then you need to take a break. We'll still be here when you get back.

annush said...

you crazy kids!

I said I am LOSING the desire not that Ive lost the desire...I"ll still post even if not as often I used to :)

Should I ever stop, I'll at least say goodbye in a propepr fashion!

Bob W. said...

Annush, What about OUR rituals. Reading your blog. If and when you eliminate it from your list of rituals, note that it effects many more then yourself. Don't take drastic step without letting time go by. If in a wile you still feel the same, we will all miss you.

Toad734 said...

So whats the verdict?

Libélula said...

I understand what you mean, but I hope you keep on writing cause I enjoy reading!

Take care sweetie!

Vince said...

I totally know what you mean. I've been there many times myself. If you do decide to go, you will certainly be missed.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Everybody needs a blogging break from time to time. Go for it! Have some adventures and let us live vicariously through your detailed descriptions!

K said...

'Please don't go girl' New Kids on The Block goes out to Annush!

I just wanted to dedicate a song to the pretty little lady.

So when can we come visit?

JJ

Kisses