I am losing the desire to continue keeping this blog.
I have to blame my vacation for this.
For the 9 months that I've been keeping this blog, most of the time I wrote from the comfort of my office while I ate my salad and sipped my seltzer during lunch. These were things that until recently I associated to each other and as such without the one, the other wasn't nearly as entertaining.
1. A ceremonial act or a series of such acts.
2. The performance of such acts.
3. A detailed method of procedure faithfully or regularly followed.
4. A state or condition characterized by the presence of established procedure or routine.
I like to think that I'm someone who is not entirely predictable (or anal-retentive); however, I am the first to admit that I am a creature of habit. In the uncertainty of my everyday existance I find comfort in observing the rituals that adorn each unplanned event in my life. I think that in some ways, rituals are something that I recognize when everythign else seems alien.
Ever since I started my sabbatycal, a lot of my rituals have had to be either modified or stopped altogether. Needless to say, my whole existance seems completely out of sync as a result. I think that a disorganized life reflects a disorganized existance and right now, being in a territory that I haven't fully familiarized myself with yet, I feel like an internal mess.
As I write this, I am looking to start new rituals or to find a way to acomodate the old ones to this new situation I find myself in. It's taking me a while but these things can't be rushed. I wasn't born with the instinct of having a coffee cup on my hand every morning. Everything has to make sense within it's given frame of reference and the things that are carried from a previous life have to allow for growth and not keep you living in the past.
For what is worth, I'd like to keep writing here. I always found this to be a positive release; however, I don't know if there is room for this particular ritual in my current life as nothing else within it seems to compliment it and for me blogging was part of an activity, not the whole.
"...One must observe the proper rites..."
"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.
"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox.
"They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours."
-The Little Prince