Monday, November 28, 2005

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait...

I mailed my grad school application back in July. To this day, the fine people of NYU haven't given me a response and bear in mind that the program I applied for begins in January. Today I have every intention of raising hell via telephone and if that doesn't work, I'm going to fly to NY this week. The next year of my life is hanging in the balance and all they can say to me is to be patient. Patient. I don't have that much patience. No wonder I have been in such a bad mood lately!

I had said that the only way I would go back to NY was if I got into my desired program. In fact, to make sure that I kept my eye on the ball, I didn't even apply to any other school (not that there were so many options but still). My plan B was that if NYU didn't work out, I would move elsewhere. I didn't know where to, all I knew was that my time in NY was up and that I wasn't going to push it. It had gotten too cold, too uptight, too expensive, etc...

Some of my goals in life include owning a home, having a dog and a child, leading a life where I can enjoy nature somehow, among other things and in NY I wasn't going to be able to do any of it under my terms. So I chose to go. I thought about moving south so I could remain close to my family. I've said before that I needed to live in a place where there is an international airport within 50 miles and somewhere that's at least conducive to being outside. The two cities that matched the description were Miami and Atlanta. People have also suggested some pretty great cities out west, but if I am going to go far I'd rather go to Europe.

With my sabbatical soon coming to an end, yesterday my mom started asking me where I am going to go, if I am even going to go (she wants me to stay). I still don't know. I already lived in Miami and hated it enough to leave but as I've gotten older I've learned to enjoy it. By the same token, I've never even been to Atlanta but I know that it's one of the top 10 fastest growing cities in America. There are huge reasons why I shouldn't move to Miami (HWMNBN) but I ask myself if someone like me would be able to survive Atlanta.

Either move would mean having to start again from zero. Again. I have started from zero about four times already and I am getting somewhat tired. It could be age, it could be disenchantment. Hard to say. The fact of the matter is that wherever I go this time I hope I will be fine long enough to build a life. I don't want to see myself come March with all my bags packed looking for somewhere else to go. If I was once a nomad, I don't know if that's something I want to be anymore. At least not for a while.

I need a new adventure, one that's so much fun that I won't want it to end.

4 comments:

Jonas said...

Well I loved San Francisco which by the way is always voted the best city in America and sometimes the world. It's fabulous. It has Posh areas, chinatown, North beach museums and that is just the city. I think you would love the bay area. From Napa to Carmel, to Lake Tahoe, Stanford, Berkeley (which I bet has excellent writing programs).

mw said...

Ugh! Those freaks in the admissions office should be shot. I remember another fiesty virgo I could mention who was furious when forced to take the GRE's to enter the masters program at the same university. (Within 3 months of graduating summa cum laude, no less) *sigh* All about the benjamins. Good luck.

Grant said...

I think if you've survived New York and Miami, Atlanta would be a piece of cake. The things I like least about it are the traffic and weather, but I think the weather would better agree with you and if you're used to mass transit the traffic won't be much of an issue. Good luck with whatever you decide.

El chico del apto 512 said...

wtf? Miami rules. I'm in it.