Thursday, August 31, 2006
Here lemons and limes and limes are lemons
Or get some vodka and make limoncello...or some sugar and rum and make a caipirinha...or some mint and rum and make a mojito...
Lately I've been in a bit of a funk. It usually happens around my birthday each year so i am used to it; but still, I hate how I feel and what I hate most is that I don't know why I am feeling it.
I love birthdays. I love celebrations. I love parties. I love cakes.
This year for the first time EVER (not counting the one year I was dieting) I am going to be unable to eat birthday cake. Flour. Gluten. Sucks. Had I know that I was going to have to live cake free for the rest of my life at 26, I would have eaten a whole lot more cake when I had the chance. German chocolate cake. Marble cake. Yummmm [tear]
To make myself feel better, or at least compensate for the lack of cake, I would throw myself a party. It's what I do when I am depressed and it's also the standard way to celebrate a birthday. But what do I do? Party with a curfew? [let's all thank the government for the Cinderella laws] Not to mention that I can't drink either. I haven't had a real drink in months. So a birthday party with no cake, no drinks, and a midnight curfew. Hell, if someone invited me to a party like that I wouldn't even go!
Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, I am turning 27. That's 3 years away from 30. Seven years closer to 30 than to 20. I have gray hairs now which I would dye except that I quit dying my hair years ago and I don't intend to start again now. There is something about aging gracefully that's glamorous and sexy and I am all up for celebrating womanhood, I just don't wanna' be one whose glamorous womanhood we are celebrating.
So what to do? what to do?
I wanna cry.
I wanna scream.
I wanna eat a pizza, a cake, a big bowl of granola, tabbouleh, a chocolate eclair...
I want to have a whole bunch of vodkas with soda.
I want to dance until the sun comes up.
I want to wake up and look over and find it there.
I want to fit into my most festive dress again...I only wore it once :(
I think I should go make my lemonade now...
Posted by annush at 1:20 PM