Friday, August 11, 2006

The intolerance of the outcasts.

The other day, I was out with a friend of mine who is dating an outcast. Well, maybe calling him that isn't using the right terminology to describe him, but he is someone that if we were in High School would probably be considered a freak/nerd and his friends too.

Anyway, we were talking about the dynamics of their relationship and how difficult it is. How she has tried really hard to hang out with his friends and do things he likes to make him happy but that he won't do the same thing for her. That he is not really interested in being a part of the social circle of a social butterfly.

So that got me thinking about all the different kinds of people I know...

One would think that outcasts, or at least people who are not that socially inclined or are somewhat "different", would be the most tolerant towards other people. But they are not. I've found that in their eccentricity they pass judgement on other people more often than the social butterflies of the world and I wonder why...

Social butterflies on the other hand could probably feel a sense of entitlement in regards to their opinions and could probably criticize and judge until they are blue in the face because their social circle is so diverse, but that's rarely the case. They know so many different kinds of people that they have learned to master the art of diplomacy and tolerance. Just because they belong to the mainstream doesn't mean that they are not appreciative of subcultures.

If at 27-28 you still feel the need to get a mullet, a mohawk, wear mismatched socks, wear a tutu, dye your hair green, etc. more power to you. By now should have found out who you want to be and accomodated to it. But daring to be different, doesn't mean that you are superior. Being one thing doesn't keep you from being a part of something else. Sometimes we exclude ourselves from things because we think we are better or not good enough when in reality, it's all about tolerance because everything is the same.

You are unique...just like everybody else.


Grant said...

I think the fact that he's not willing to try to do the things that please her is a major red flag. She should just shoot him and move on.

gotbrains? said...

Wow.. I should have a chat with your friend about dating self-proclaimed "outcasts" and "nerds." I've certainly had my fill.

A piece of advice for her: No matter how much you think you will be able to tolerate the anti-social aspect, it will get to you eventually. Opposites attract, but that is too much of an extreme opposite.

Libélula said...

I love the word Tolerance!!! Taller Anz??? Jajajajajaja