Being here, a lot of times I feel like an outcast. I don't have a circle of people here I have grown up with, nor do I have these fabulous amazing stories that involve anyone in the island. I just got here one day and tried to find some people who would let me in their airtight circle and let me be.
I haven't really found that yet. I have made some friends here and there, but I don't have a clique to speak of. To this day, I remain somewhat of a bouncer, someone who has a different person to relate with on each specific issue. To an extent, I am okay with that.
There is a little group of people here you don't see around very much. Those are the people who were shipped away to boarding school, and then college abroad who come here during their breaks/vacations and then upon graduation come back and take their "rightful place" in society. I have known some of these people forever because to an extent we (my brothers and I) were somewhat like them, except that we didn't actually "live" here.
It is summer and some of them are back for break and some of them are back for good.
Yesterday afternoon, Yuri and I went to this place to unwind. Having survived a really shitty week, we wanted to sneak somewhere and just talk about stuff and go home. It was there that we ran into them. Apparently, we weren't the only ones looking to unwind.
They invited us to join them and we sat there talking shit for hours and hours. It didn't tak very long to realize that these were the people I belonged with. That I was part of a breed that talked about far away places like they were down the street, that looks for things to do because it is important to have hobbies to keep yourself sane, that appreciates things like folded clothes, cooked meals and respect for the household because those were things that we didn't have because we have been alone for so long...
Some people call it home, we call it loving in a five star hotel.
Whereas some people would be open to letting everyone in on every aspect of their lives, we are clingy to people like us because we know what we mean when we say certain things and we know we are not being snobby when we talk about the reality of the priviledged hand we were dealt.
Every society has people like us and in big societies people like us go unnoticed but not here. So we have each other. We talk about soccer and scuba diving and marrying people who'll be all about family and talk about taking trips to Paris. Our families are related or friends. Maybe in the big scheme of the Dominican divine plan we were meant to end up together.
We sat there, and some of us knew each other forever and some, like me, came in by association and it was like a fraternity. Because we all know where we go, which is usually the same place, and we know that despite what we may want (and I include myself in this) our futures are most likely here.
Yuri and I went to the market on Tuesday and we were talking about the future and the possibility that maybe one day our children are going to be playing with our friends' children. And we laughed, and I know that she laughed because it is so possible; but I laughed because the past really is repetitive and I know that if I end up here I would much rather have my kids play with their kids than with any other kid in the universe...