This Princess has a serious obsession with certain things and certain people. I've never been any different, so I can't say for sure whether or not this is something that is a personality quirk or a serious flaw [and you know it's prctically impossible to criticize oneself from the inside]. The fact of the matter is that I've come to the conclusion that I would probably be much happier if I was able to just let things go.
Last night I was talking to the Principessa when I nearly had a heart attack over a party.
There is a party on Saturday and I want to go. The problem being that the party is in Punta Cana and I am in Miami. So in trying to be cool about the fact that I'm not going, I decided to promote it. I did. That's done. But that wasn't enough to really make me feel like I was part of it so I started to obsess.
The night before last night during a conversation with the Principessa [we do talk everynight] we pondered on the possibility of maybe going to the party. I found a reasonable fare and I had every intention of going overnight on Saturday. But a number of issues came up and so I didn't buy my ticket.
I started to come to tems with the fact that I was not going to go to the party when last night the Principessa starts yelling, screaming, and saying how much she hates the world and HWMNBN and then tells me that our problems are solved and that someone gave her airfare and a hotel room in Punta Cana and that the tickets can be taken care of. So after an hour of should we go? should we not go? We [I] decided that I was going to dye my hair blonde, buy myself huge sunglasses, get a one piece bathing suit [if I went, i had to go incognito] and that we were going to go to the party. Fly in Saturday morning, leave Sunday night. Nobody would notice.
Apparently the fine people of Spirit and AA [both of which fly direct], didn't think it would be a good idea that I go because if the fares were reasonable the night before, last night they had tripled and great though a party may be, I am not paying US$600+ to go from Miami to Punta Cana! It's not even a two hour flight! That's half of a Marc Jacobs bag!
So as you can probably imagine, I spent the better part of the night last night thinking about "possibilities". I even dreamed of the damn party...meanwhile my licensing test is today and I probably have a better understanding of Circo Loco and the airport codes of Miami, Punta Cana and the surrounding airports, than I do of whatever it is that I need to know. Yuck.
I wish I wasn't like this and I ask myself, am I obsessing so much over this party because I want to go or is it because I feel like I am going to miss out on a good time with my DR friends? because after all, this is what we did...we danced, we took road trips, we had this kind of fun...and I know things have changed...that I am no longer there. But I ask myself, should I ever go back -even if for a day- would we do these things that made us smile? would the party still be the same?
Because life really is a party...it's all a matter of what you do while you listen to the background music.