I know what I said and now I think that maybe I shouldn't have said it. Or at least not in that way.
I can only imagine how you must be feeling...
You were dealt a crappy hand and I wish I could help you fix it but I can't. I wish I could help you justify it to yourself but I can't do that either.
All I can say is that you did what you felt you HAD to do...and regrettable though it may be, at the time it's what you HAD to do and then did.
Life goes on though. Your life at least. And cutting it short is not an option just because you feel ashamed. People go through this all the time and people like us don't approve of it but it doesn't necessarily make it wrong...everyone is different and circumstances change.
I love you. A lot of people love you. It may not be what you need to hear. It may never be enough to replace what you purposely lost. It may not change things. But it's something that should be enough of a reason to make you want to live. It should make you want to be better so that next time you can be better.
It is easy to say "I would never" "Nobody should ever" "This is wrong". But nothing is ever easy even when you want it. When you are in a position to play the cards and do it well. I didn't realize this before and I am sorry if I caused you more anguish than you already felt.
I am sorry you had to go through this.
But like everything else, I hope this is a lesson learned and a reason to stay alive...because if nothing else, you have the rest of your life to be better than the person you were the other day.