Sunday, June 28, 2009

I'm not saying that I'm not tempted...

...but the problem with temptation is that some people walk straight into it and some know how or when to say no. I am not like that.

I am Cristina.

It's not that the courage is there, but it just seems like the right thing to do at the time. And that's my problem: I only know what I DON'T want. If it feels right at the time, I will continue...searching, probing, doing things that only I will understand.

I have come a long way since my days as a love-sick puppy who couldn't see past that tall red headed shape. For better or for worse, I've given up on that thing that drowned me and have moved on to things that fill me- even if they are unorthodox.

A picture of me popped up somewhere on the internet doing something I am not entirely certain I would want my mother to see. Then a comment popped up below it victimizing if I were still the girl who expected a kiss to turn a frog into Prince Charming.

In my mind, Prince Charming no longer exist and I'm okay kissing frogs. Though I am still a Princess- the kind who turns into a pumpkin at midnight and whose glass slippers are a badge of honor- I am not waiting to be rescued. I just strive to survive- to live a life that will bring me no regrets.

A life that will make me laugh. Because ultimately, life should be about laughter, happiness and friendship. Friendships that could be defined as something different than what they could be but are friendships nonetheless.

I love to live and live to love. But love doesn't mean the same thing to everybody.

It has stopped meaning the same thing to me.

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