Wednesday, November 10, 2010


We want things. And then we don't. But we really do.

and this is where it gets weird...

It gets weird when we get what we want but with caveats.

For two and a half years I've been praying for something like this to happen: a game change, an opportunity. I've asked (or prayed) for something in this way, color, shape or form to materialize....and it has...but I should have listened to my mom when she said "make sure that when you ask for something you are specific in regards to what you want..."

I wasn't specific enough.

I got half of my cake.

But the other half is driving me insane. Insane to the point that I don't know what to do.

I am nervous.
This is a game changer. This may be the door I've wanted open all this time. But it's not a door I can easily maintain open.

I worry.
What if I don't make the right decision? What if my impulses won't let me see what's in front of my face? What if being cautious is wrong??

I celebrate myself and all I've accomplished. I celebrate who I want to be.

But I hate the me who is second guessing what she has right now.
...and the one who thinks there should be more.

1 comment:

Juan Leal said...

So what was it, what did you get!