Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Own your own journey.

Among all the things that happened to me this summer, one of the most important ones was that I met someone who has become invaluable to me.

I have asked him to leave me. He hasn’t.

I have shown vulnerability. He’s dealt with it.

…and now he is watching me unravel into a big old mess of indecisiveness and still, he is not judging me…though maybe he should be.

These days being me is not easy. For the first time in a while I feel like I lack purpose or direction. Like life is living me. I don’t even know what to do about this tiny little bit of amazing in what seems to be a gigantic pool of nothing. Yet, he is showing patience… and without lecturing or even pushing, maybe even unknowingly, he is telling me to own my journey.

This would be way easier if I recognized the path.

But I trust the signs and most importantly, I trust him. And if nothing else, at least I know that he is here to join me in samsara.

So I write this post as an exercise in creativity. Because if I can’t find the words to describe where I am, I sure as hell am never going to get where I am going.

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