While I was sick and then during the following week, I managed to accomplish something I didn't think was possible: I lost 11 pounds. Though for most people this would be something to be happy about, for me it's not. I don't fit in my clothes and in the past week I've found that the only place where I can find clothes my size is Gap Kids.
For my upcoming trip, I need an evening gown and since none of my dresses fit, I decided to go shopping. Well, I don't know where Mary Kate shops, but I found nothing. So in my desperation, I decided to call my cousin Niurka who is at 100 pounds, probably the thinnest healthy person I have ever met.
This is how the conversation went:
Ana: Hey Niurka!...I need a dress.
Niurka: Go shopping.
Ana: I tried! While I was sick I lost all this weight and now I can't find clothes that fit me, and then the one dress I found that I might have been able to wear, highlighted every visible bone in my body!
Niurka: But I'm sure you have really sexy bones! Anyway, have you tried drinking Ensure?
Ana: You sound like Kristhina...that tastes like crap. I'll stick to chocolate cake.
Niurka: You know what's the worse thing about losing weight? Your teeth look huge.
Ana: Speak for yourself. I have a huge head...my teeth look fine.
Niurka: Oh so now you look like a lollypop with teeth.
Ana: No, because in order to make my head look smaller, in true Jersey girl fashion, I put enough hairspray in my hair to make it look bigger that I probably caused a new hole in the ozone!
Niurka: Great, so now you look like a lollipop with teeth and an umbrella.
Gotta' love family...
After an hour of that, she gave me a name, phone number, and welcomed me into her world.
This fucking sucks.