Thursday, July 28, 2005

If only I was getting paid for this...

Sometimes I feel like a cheerleader. I do. And it annoys the living hell out of me.

I am pretty sure that I am one of the most supportive people I know. Call it stupidity, call it blind faith. All I know is that when someone tells me that they want this, or they want to do that, after pointing out the bumps in the road (if any), I am the first one to be all like “GO YOU” “YOU CAN DO IT!”.

But sometimes people make me feel stupid about cheerleading and piss me off beyond comprehension so I am beginning to think that I’m going to be more selective about who I encourage.

My mom says that there is a passage in the bible that says “God will help you but first you must help yourself”. I don’t know if this is true, but it’s a very logical line of reasoning. One would think that common sense alone will tell you that things don’t just happen to people (okay, sometimes they do) but that we must work for what we want.

-If you are dissatisfied with your job, get a new one (or look for another).
-If you are not happy where you are, consider alternatives.
-If you are in a relationship that’s not fulfilling, rethink it.
-If you want are not happy with yourself, work on what makes you unhappy.

I understand that it’s easier said than done, and I know that I do my share of complaining every now and again but I don’t ever put my eggs in one basket, and what’s more, I try to do something about what’s bothering me.

Not very many people are too keen on the unknown or get excited about making long term plans. I know that despite my unusual desire for adventures, I get freaked out by the thought of making any plan. However, sometimes this fear needs to be tackled if only for peace of mind.

People come to me looking for encouragement and I am flattered by this. But I do get tired of hearing “I hate this and that” over and over again and seeing no effort to change the situation. If you are going to be complacent about something your issue, don’t come to me looking for sympathy. This is energy that I could very well invest elsewhere.


Anonymous said...

I agree with your mother. before I didnt pay mind to it but more often than not I keep coming across people that want help but wont make the slightest effort to help themselves. its frustrating what I look like? im not gonna do EVERYTHING for you.

El chico del apto 512 said...

Well, I don't think that passage is in the bible but it is a true statement.

You can jump-start them if you want, but let them do the driving (unless they are driving your car)

Grant said...

I found something interested regarding the "God helps those..." quote at
As for the rest, I'm with you. Complacency is a sickness of the soul, but some people are just more content being miserable than trying anything new.
When you encourage others, do you actually drag out the pom-poms and do a dance routine? :p

KARAKALA said...

I know what you mean Annush. I am learning how to cope with every mistake I make without having to ask for any personal advice. And it's truly hard not to ask for it.

But it's best to learn from others. Even though it may be a tiring process, but at the end you’re the one that is going to feel good about what you did.

And of course God will help those that help themselves, those who are willing to give up pouting and acting like big babies.

Unfortunately there are people who are weakened by life's trials and tribulations. And that's where people like you play a great role.

Your character says it all. You are by far a strong, independent woman. And whoever is complaining and bitching to you about life is because they see a strong person in front of them that can actually help.

It may seem to you like you are being used as a crutch, but you are just helping them out.

Think about it.

God gave you a gift of wisdom, compassion and sincerity. You will be rewarded for the positive things you do and say to people.

Just wait and see.

Gabemaster said...

"Inteligente es aquel que aprende de sus propios errores, pero sabio es aquel que aprende de los errores de los demas..."

henry siteber said...

Because of your supportiveness, people have made you into a punching back they can go to when whining about things they have no intent to change. There are enough negatives in the world for you to have to handle other people's. So be more selective in the people you are there for.

annush said...

Nobody has made me into a punching bag. I think you may have misunderstood the post (or me even!). I am complaining because it bothers me but I am not going to quit being supportive to people who obviously need some kind of support! I just hope that they'll start helping themselves. you know?

Weary Hag said...

I gave up trying to be supportive of those who won't help themselves years ago and you know what? I feel healthier for it.
Some decisions are difficult to make, but in the long run, as long as you mull it over enough, change can really be good for the soul.

[on a personal note: I haven't forgotten about you sweetie ... I've been wanting to stop by for awhile now, but time wouldn't permit. I SO much appreciate your comments at my blog and will try to do a better job once I'm 'retired' *wink*]

Luzbeíta said...

Está muy bien tu forma de pensar, estoy de acuerdo con lo q decís. En realidad lo q + abunda (al menos x acá) es la gente q te tira mala onda o no se juega x lo q quiere. Hace falta + gente como vos! Adelante! Slds.

Mona Buonanotte said...

I sometimes feel like Ann Landers. It's flattering in a way, but sometimes, y'know, I just want to slap them and say, "Shut up about your wife! She's a bitch! How many times can I nicely beat around the bush telling you in vague terms to DIVORCE her??" But that wouldn't be prudent, uh-uh, no sirree. So I listen to 'Suicidal-Guy-in-Loveless-Marriage' every day and try different ways of guiding him to his own (my) best answer. But I still want to hit him.

Last Girl On Earth said...

See Angel... that's how come I stopped hanging out with certain people. I call them "soul suckers". I don't have any trouble being there for my friends when they need me, but if they just keep coming back and continuously use me, I'm outta there!

Same goes for certain bloggers. I can be there for support, but I just don't want to read a daily bitchfest! Who's got the time.

Pete B said...

Hey Annush! Nice blog.

[Generally nods agreement]

Personally, I'd say planning is good - but let's not get silly about it. You can't set your plan in stone, since the world generally has different ideas - sometimes minor changes sometimes not remotely what you had in mind!

I'm all for "living in the present", but it seems like a lot of people think of nothing but short term benefits.

dan said...

I learned a long long time ago that complaining about things doesn't change them. Action does.

grody jo-dee said...

say it sister! i can't stand people who constantly complain, but don't make any changes. i think they are just lazy and insecure (don't want to change and need lots of attention). it's like those girls who used to say, "oh, my hair looks like shit!" but it really looks fine.

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