Friday, July 29, 2005

"One of the guys"

I don’t have any sisters. I grew up with my mom trying to raise me to be a girly girl all the while I was essentially a tomboy. It was very frustrating. It still is.

As a child, I played with my brothers, I climbed up trees, I rode bikes, and even had a skateboard I never quite learned how to ride. My memory of that time is very vague, but I do remember having a few girlfriends at school although my social circle at the time was basically my brothers and the neighborhood boys.

I think that it was during that time that I learned that girls and boys are essentially the same. There is no “men are from Mars women are from Venus”. Luckily, I figured out at an early age that the only real difference between men and women is biology. This saved me a lot of stress during adolescence and it got me a lot of guy friends as a young adult. It also made me “one of the guys”.

Being “one of the guys” has been a double edged sword. It has allowed me to get close enough to the action to see what’s really going on, but at the same time it has literally turned me into a long haired, skirt wearing, stiletto loving boy. Needless to say, this doesn’t get me very many dates.

Anyway, as a teen I began to spend more time with girls. I never had tons of girlfriends, but the ones I had were usually like me. I liked that. I liked that we agreed on the fundamental principles of gender relations.

Then we began looking for “the one”.
(This is why I say that guys have it easy)

It seems to me that when men and women become interested in someone they get weird. I think that the quintessential difference between the sexes is how weird they become. The whole thing becomes a weird game of “me Tarzan-you Jane” that not everyone can play, but most people don’t’ care to admit to that.

So women, for example, become aggressive. I am not saying that women should sit at home and wait for Prince Charming to come knocking; however, many women just throw themselves at the object of their affection. Very rarely do men have to do much work.

I say that this is because of the competition.

Everyone knows that there are more women than men (1.04:1 ratio). I read somewhere that it is more likely for a woman over 45 to die in a terrorist attack than it is for her to get married. Most of us have noticed that men prefer them young. And let’s not forget that traditionally, it is men who decide the terms of the relationship.

Women may have an advantage in terms of how physical the relationship gets, but that’s about it, and even then, a lot of the time they use this advantage as a manipulation technique.

A lot of women’s self-worth is directly proportional to whether or not they are with someone. A lot of men’s self-confidence comes from having a trophy girlfriend. Hmmm… this is probably why you see so many hot girls with really ugly guys though not as often the other way around.

This post is getting long and I should really get to work. If you have an opinion, please share it with the rest of the class!! Happy Friday :)

18 comments:

Edwin R. said...

oooh ooohh!!! I have something I'd like to say!!! Pick Me, Pick Mee!!! =)

"Women may have an advantage in terms of how physical the relationship gets, but that’s about it, and even then, a lot of the time they use this advantage as a manipulation technique."

They can use that manipulation on me as much as they'd like =) hehe...

Angy said...

Annush this post just go to show how dumb men can really be. they base their relationships on "oooohhhh look how pretty let me have it" and dont question whether the one they are pciking is smart or not. I learned the hard way que todo lo que brilla no es oro.

i think women can control every aspect of the man just becuase of the latter. We are very smart and they are many times to easy to manipulate.

KARAKALA said...

Hmmmmm.... I agree with you there Annush.

Once a man is caught in a woman's web it's hard to get lose.

Yes, women are very, very manipulative. Sometimes in a good way, yet other times their demons are unleashed.

*Men, watch out.... pick them smart and with a good heart. If you don't, you'll be like me venting out anger at the gym, writing sad poems and love letters.

Truly sad.*

Tank said...

The one thing that I would argue that men and women do differ other than their biology. I've seen many many examples of couples talking but having two completely different conversations.

This has happened to me before as well... where I simply view the universe in my own way and have to have things told to me flat out because I'm just not catching on.

Normally I'd thing I was a little slow on the uptake but this is a fairly common occurance. So I would say there is something about how men and women thing and communicate that differs at the most basic levels.

LocuTus of Borg said...

You said pretty much everything in a nutshell. But I do disagree that men and women do differ more than biology. The two sexes have different thought processes and goals in life many times. Thus the reason the divorce rate is so high and why there are so many women and men that are not dating anyone.

Edwin R. said...

Well I must say that just like Annush I have an advantage...

My advantage are: my female cousins and sisters! Age range between 19 and 32... living in NYC.. single, married and dating... Good lord the things I see and hear, and because of them I have a hard time trusting women and settling down with one...

I'm not saying that I'm a player or that I lie to women... but I certainly keep my options open because once they do something out of the ordinary, I begin to think of the many things my cousins and sisters do... and for the most part my gut feelings are right...

Perhaps as I get older, I will begin to realize that I shouldn't be as picky as I am and be more leanient towards the person that I want to be with... Meanwhile, I will continue to date older women! hehehe...

Grant said...

I agree about the whole Men/Mars and Women/Venus nonsense - I always thought that has been blown way out of proportion - but I disagree with most everything else. From my experience, I've seen plenty of relationships where the guy is younger, better looking, and wealthier and yet not in control of the relationship at all. Also the hardest thing for me and the guys I know is having to make the first move. I guess the aggressiveness hasn't reached the women down here yet. I blame the humidity. :p

Carl from L.A. said...

I've been lurking here for awhile. Thanks for a great blog.

Men who are foolish and/or hormone-driven (and are probably young) are easily manipulated. Those who matured and wised up, aren't.

Mona Buonanotte said...

I've always had more guy friends than girls, but fit in both worlds. Now I'm married to a younger man (!) and have tons of guy friends who watch my ass! (Literally and figuratively!)

henry siteber said...

The differences between males and females of a species is called "sexual dimorphism". Other than the physical differences, we are very much the same, but society has drawn a line that assigns rolls we all call differences.
I hope that made sense to you.

Jonas said...

Hey, I love "fix you" by Coldplay too. I even wrote a reply poem. you can check out my blog at samuraijonas.blogspot.com.

If I were you, I'd remember that finding chemistry with someone isn't always easy and not to worry about being a tomboy. I'm sure there is more to you than just that.

Jonas

Walter said...

Does this mean when you your hanging out with "Da fellas" you have no inhibitions about passing gas, aka, squeezing cheese, ripping leather, flying a bread biscuit, steppin on a toad, etc.?

annush said...

hahaha...for what is worth, i've never even learned how to properly burp! and I will not under any circumstance getthat crude. That's just poor manners if you ask me.

Harold Martinez said...

"Very rarely do men have to do much work."

Is that really so? oh waao.

Gabemaster said...

"In a perfect world, we would bang'em all!"

--PITUFOXS--

Harold Martinez said...

heh.

grody jo-dee said...

i agree that it's sad when women get all desperate. i'm sort of the opinion that if it's meant to happen, it will. i really didn't care about being married or being in a serious relationship when i was younger. it just happened---and then, all of a sudden, i've been happily married for 10 years. :)

WonderCorky said...

All I can say is that God gave us Men a penis.. and he gave you women the reciprical parts.


and since I can remember... I've been chasin your parts with my parts.

I do find that when someone talks to me, I want to fix things. But I've discovered that sometimes all they want me to do is listen.

Its hard for me not to tell someone what I think... if they ask... I tell...

but I've learned that isn't always what is wanted...

I've learned that most things aren't what you think... and that most things are...

I've learned that sometimes you think you know what you're talking about ... and other times you don't...and that if you have someone significant in your life.. they'll tell you when you're not..

I've learned that if you want to make me happy... just be naked a lot... and if you want to keep me happy.. use that nakedness...

I don't know that anything I've said today is insightful or inciting.. but usually I don't care or don't know.

today my brain feels like mush or some other equivilancy to mush.

peace

WC