Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Apples and Wine!

Kristhina sent me this in an email this morning. It seemed accurate enough :)


Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones
because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them,
when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to come along.
The one who's brave enough to climb all the way
to the top of the tree.

Men... Men are like a fine wine.
They begin as grapes and it's up to women
to stomp the shit out of them
until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


Jonas said...

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

vicpichardo said...

sometimes you can grab a long stick
and whack at those apples at the top until they drop and then you can pounce.

KARAKALA said...

Well said.

That's what happened in my case. I shopped for that apple too fast. And she came out rotten. It was humpy dumpy all the way down for me. Everything went downhill. Yet I managed to understand my flaw.

I should have shopped for the one with the highest price tag.

But oh well, until next time. This time I will take my sweet ass time to climb that tree.

K said...

mmmm, Apples. I had one for lunch today. Yeah, 5-a-day.

Sorry sweet girl, but I've given up. Maybe some nice guys are still out there but they don't reside in Texas.

Ugh, hold me! **tear**

Jonas said...

Will: Do you like apples?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples?

Tank said...

What about those clever buggers that chop down the whole tree to pick the best apple?

Always beware the man holding a saw.

But I've got to agree very well said

Grant said...

The apples at the top are frequently covered in bird poop. Besides, fermented (rotten) apples can be used to make apple wine. Booze rules! So do bad girls. :)

Libélula said...

Too funny, Annush.

Grant, I find your theory quite interesting, not that i'm a bad girl or anything... ;)

WonderCorky said...

we guys are too lazy..
we like cheap easy apples that someone else has picked and put in baskets all shiney

we like to touch all the apples that we can, and then might even sneak a few bites when no one is looking and put them back for someone else to pick up.

sometimes, we accidently spill some and they bounce around and get bruised. we didn't mean to do it, we were just uneducated apple pickers, we should have stuck to buggers. but we put them back in the basket (the apples not the buggers) for someone else to oogle and run their sweaty little hands over.

me, I don't eat fruit. I'm fruit intolerant. hell, sometimes I'm barely woman tolerant. I like my women fruit free and insane free. give me a girl that will let me dine on a good steak and not complain and I'm fine. I'll treat her right.

like they say:

if you want to make a guy happy

"show up naked and bring beer"

pesto resistance

WonderCorky said...

someone just needs to shake that tree... shake it ... shake shake shake

El chico del apto 512 said...

As long as you clean your feet before stepping on me, it's all good baby.

Walter said...

What if you prefer pears?

Pirate said...

I habe feeling you do not want a man you stomped the shit out of. You would prefer a climber.

justanothernickname said...

i'm a lumberjack...........the tree will fall.........easy pickins

mw said...

Funny. How does this theory account for lesbians?

Kiki A.Ortiz said...

definitivamente cierto :P

petrow said...

now those are words to live bye, made my morning, plus i love wne, hey , i need wine.

off to get some wine.

Steve Austin said...

Tasty blog! Please check out my country wine blog.

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