I have never wanted to be a boy. Despite the obvious disadvantages of being a girl in a somewhat traditional household, it always seemed to me that the outweighed the bad and that there was plenty of potential within the technicalities.
Having grown up with brothers, the male mind has never been a mistery to me. I've never been one to go stupid over contact with members of the male species and during that time in life when boys had cooties, I had a little boyfriend who thought it was cool when I tore the dresses my mom always made me wear when I went out to play.
Anyway, I was also somewhat of a girls' girl. Still am. For as long as I can remember I've had very close female friendships. Not many, but enough to have a considerable amount of drama in my life. Girls always bring drama. If it isn't one thing it's something else and though on the most part this is a pain in the ass, it's also entertaining so I deal with it and often even look forward to it.
A couple of days ago, it was "girls' night out". It was six girls, two bottles of Greygoose, and two bottles of what they call "fresita" (I still don't know what that is, looks like sekt but it's red). Everyone was cool, everyone was happy, everyone was talking about each other behind their back and I thought that was funny.
"She is being like this because this and this and that"
"I have something she wants and that's why she is being nice to me"
"They gave me the reputation of X"
"She is saying she likes your thing but she's just trying to kiss your ass so you'll do that"
And while all of this was going on, there was also this strange kind of sisterhood around us. Maybe it was that alcohol induced bond bringing us together, maybe it was the pleasant atmosphere created by the tunes of Buddha Bar, it's hard to say. I do know though, that as the cattiness took over the room, I don't think that at that moment I would have wanted anyone else to be my friend to my face. It sounds strange, I know, but I think that if there is a black and a white to everything, friendships are no exception. The same hold true for people who are not your friends: You can stick up for them behind their back, all the while to their face you can remind them over and over of how much they suck. I think at the end of the daywhat it comes down to is would this person be there for you when you need them and would they be good to you.
People can say things until they turn blue but like they say, actions speak louder than words and although I believe that essentially women are physically incapable of being 100% good to each other (hence the reason for the cattiness), if there is a woman who'll be willing to stick up for you, or be there for you when you need them then you really have a friend. And that's beautiful. Even if that cake comes with unwanted frosting.
Personally, I prefer old friends. People who share my history and who've grown and evolved with me whose idea of cattiness is tame, are the ones I'll always turn to. But then you can't always have them so new friends are welcome all that's left is to hope that they won't destroy you for amusement's sake or that you won't mistakenly believe they are better than they really are.