There is this thing that sleeps inside me.
My own personal beast.
When it awakens it's wild, it's free, it's uncontrollable.
But for the most part, it sleeps.
That thing doesn't like to be awakened
because when it is it tears up the world
it forgets about reason
and it won't rest until it's apetite is quenched.
It's been dormant for a while now.
Far longer than it has ever been.
It's last feeding was abundant, satisfying and intense
and the beast within me has since slept.
Two weeks ago my beast began to toss and turn
and one day it walked in its sleep.
It looked for nourishment, but it was still asleep you see,
so after only a taste it settled back and slept.
Since then it hasn't been in an intense sleep
It's like the last bit of sleep before the alarm goes off.
It's a conscious sleep in which he is resting
but in its unconscious it knows the time has come.
So it's awakening again.
It's tossing and turning and shifting and moving
dreaming of the feast it missed, lusting after what will come
and each ounce of food will be a feast it'll devour.
And I can't control it
And I can't resist it
But the beast is hungry
and this hunger is vengeful.
My beast is something I have to learned to live with
because when it awakens it's something I can contain
but not this time
and i am scared.
Because the beast that lives within me is unforgiving
and it's apetite is great
and i could try to fight my beast
but this is a beast I can not tame.
And I could kill it
but it's beautiful
So I will nourish it
even if it kills me.