who's the fairest of them all?

To say that one doesn't like compliments is probably the biggest lie one can ever tell.

Some people may find compliments uncomfortable. This is something I accept and at times I am one of those people; however, on the most part I am pretty certain that even on the deepest level of our subconscious we are all wired to like nice things being said about us.

Compliments can come in a variety of ways. There are those that are vocal and honest and sweet, those that are thoughtful and considerate and those that are somewhat inappropriate but always an ego boost. Regardless of the way they are presented though, or even what these compliments represent, they acknowledge a positive attribute that good or bad is there.

And this brings me to my point: compliments must be earned.

I hate ass kissers. People who go around saying things like "oooh! oooh! you ALWAYS look great" or "oh! you are so smart" or whatever else all the time just because they feel it's going to earn them brownie points either with you or St. Peter should all be shot. In my book, that's the ultimate sign of stupidity because it's not like the person on the receiving end of the compliment doesn't know what's up-at least most of the time.

I also hate compliment fishers. YOu know, those people who go around saying stuff like "I am ugly, aren't I?" or maybe stuff like "do you think I am this or that?" knowing full well what the answer is because you have told them before.

Compliments should be well meaning and should be, above all things, honest. There are some things in life that are permanent and unchanging and the first time they are acknowledged they are noted, so is it really necessary to say 17 times a day how smart someone is? Probably not.

I don't give compliments often but when I do, they are well-meaning and whole hearted. Don't force me to say things I am not feeling at the moment because it doesn't work that way. I may say something I don't mean or worse: I could say something totally bitchy (which is something I did today).

There is a girl I know from life. She is not close enough to be considered a friend per se, but she is not enough of a stranger that I can not talk to her if I see her. We are close acquaintances, if you can call it that. Anyway, as you know, I've been sick. I've been so sick that I haven't been doign anything of substance aside going to school for almost a week. Hell, tonight I said no to a party. A good party at that (with a cute guy!!)! That's how sick I've been. To add to that, PMS sucks. Needless to say, I am not in the best of moods. This girl, every single time I see her fishes for compliments. Today was no different. And though I usually humor her, today I wasn't in the mood. So I was mean to her.

After a twenty minute speech that felt like it went on for 4 hours she says something like "but nobody takes me seriously because they don't think I am smart. But I am smart, aren't I?" At that point I just couldn't control myself. I had been trying to leave for 25 minutes stressing the fact that I wasn't feeling well and she comes to me with this BS story to ask me the dumbest question ever (because she knows why she isn't taken seriously). She just wanted to hear someone call her smart today. And that wasn't going to be me.

"You know what? you are a fucking idiot. This conversation was a massive waste of time. If you were really smart, you wouldn't need my validation, and what's more, you would have the sense to know that I am fucking sick and I want to go home. Leave me alone."

That was really mean of me. I feel bad. Really. I should really apologize. Maybe I will.

...and yeah, sometimes my vocabulary is just THAT colorful.