Thursday, April 26, 2007

27 going on 20

So today I went to a new hairdresser my friend Joan recommended.

I don't think I've laughed so hard EVER as I did when this woman was like "how is it that someone as young as you has gray hair?

I was like "how old do you think I am?"

"You can't be any older than 20!"


So I tell her I am 4 months shy of 28 and she called me a liar. I showed her my driver's license and she said it was my fake ID.

In a way I loved how that made me feel. I love how it makes me feel to get ID'ed for cigarrettes, and I love how it makes me feel to have 20 year old guys hit on me. But I feel like I loose some of my credibility everytime someone thinks I am still going through puberty.

A lot of people pay tons of money so they can credibly lie about their age. I, on the other hand, just want to age and do so gracefully. Honestly. I don't die my hair despite the fact that I am quickly going gray. I barely wear makeup despite the fact that all those laughs I've had have left their mark so that I don't forget that I did laugh. And I try to act my age the best of my ability despite the fact that I am not your average 27 year old.

My mom says that when she was my age she had three kids and a divorce under her belt. She prays for the grand-children I would love to give her. But times have changed and here I am trying to selfishly survive, and I selfishly because even though having a child is so high up there on my list of priorities that it might as well be life, all the money I should be putting in my child's college fund, lately I find it's better spent on Furla wallets, Gucci sunglasses and weekend trips that will do nothing for me except make my already enlarged ass bigger.

I always thought that by 28 I would have it all figured out. I thought I'd have my own family and I would be living the happily ever after we are raised to believe actually exists. But I have nothing other than more work than necessary to show for my existence. I make family meals for friends, I knit for other people's babies and I coo strangers children...

All the while I pray that little Fiona will come...even if she is an accident...because that would be damn good motivation to trade Gucci sunglasses for those cute baby jumpers I often spend longer than necessary looking at when I go to Saks.


Bracuta said...

Don't worry dude, I'm sure Fiona Mayonesa will come one day...
Grey hair? What is that????
(funny, today's word verification below is "wubkyeav")

Alexei Tellerias said...

I mean... it's good to be told that you look younger (tell me bout it), but i think that in your case, it goes more than your appeal. I've always seen you as an everlasting young person!
(hope i could make myself clear LOL). Good luck in Miami.

♥PRiNCiPeSSa♥ said...

hahaha but you ARE 20... last year we celebrated ur 20th bday, remember?!?!
Haha can u imagine little peepee and fiona playing together?