...because I am certain that I can outdance some of the sorry ass dancers they hire at some of the bars here.
I like to dance. Dancing is a non-aggressive way to take out all of your aggression. Do it long enough, and it may even make you loose weight!
I was talking to the principessa a few days ago about the days when we used to party all the time. Those glorious days when I could fit into her 00 pink knit bikini and we didn't look like baby pandas and baby cows. Oh those were the days! the days when we used to party all the time!
Apparently I am getting old.
Last weekend I went club hopping with my newest sidekicks and despite the fact that I tried really hard to get into it, it was hard. It was taking effort. Maybe it was because I wasn't drinking, or maybe it was because I wasn't feeling it. The fact of the matter is that it wasn't happening and I was pissed off at myself for that.
Lately I feel like I've been pissed off at myself a lot. And technically, I'm only pissed off at myself for that one thing; however, I feel like that one thing has taken over every aspect of my life. I'm trying to change. I think I've done an excellent job of straightening myself out; however, it doesn't feel like enough.
A good friend told me that sometimes you have let things go. To a point I believe that. The Principessa also told me that I have to walk away now that I have a reason to. But I ask myself, what if I don't want to? what if I am not ready? I try to even look in the opposite direction and I feel like a traitor.
So I dance. And even if I don't want to, I'll keep dancing until I forget that I loved A LOT and I lost BIG. I'll dance alone and hope that one day I'll forget...or better yet, I hope that he'll spot me dancing alone from across the room, that he'll forgive me and then will come dance with me.