Friday, April 13, 2007

Sharing is caring [?]

X person says:
thats none of my business...i don't know why you keep trying to bring me into this??...
Brown Eyed Girl says:
i'm sorry. i didn't realize you'd mind...and i just saw you online and thought i would ask.
X person says:
your business with HWMNBN are your business with HWMNBN...that's it...


...and these few lines got me to thinking...

I share a lot of myself with the world. I figured that knowing and trusting people (or in this case not knowing people at all) is enough to just go out there and expose myself completely. As a child, my mother said that I was "atrevida". A daring child who would one day grow up to be a daring adult.

In thinking about this assessment, I think that I was a daring child who grew up to be a vulnerable adult. Someone who knows what she wants and asks for it even if asking for it does more harm than good.

It just occurred to me today that maybe all this asking and sharing is what allows people to believe that I am their problem, someone who needs a hero, or someone who needs saving. I am not someone who needs anything other than a friendly face or maybe even a hug.

I think that effective now I am going to keep certain things private both in my blog and in my life. It seems unnecessary that I should bare my soul to the world just so that one day someone can say that I'm inviting them into my problems. Sure, I'll have my moments of joy.sadness.misery.excitement.introversion and I may somehow express them, but I don't want to share some things anymore.

For all it's worth, it doesn't even help.

1 comment:

Miss nina said...

Well.
I think this 'x' person was simply NOT NICE and not behaving as a friend.
You should be able to open up about anything to those who are close to you.
She definitaly doesn't deserve to be in your inner circle.