Saturday, February 14, 2009

V-day freaks me out.

Love is a really funny emotion...

My mother is a firm believer of the whole "If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours and if it doesn't it never was" thing. I would be a believer too, except that I know that sometimes people come back out of desperation and not because they feel they belonged to or were even part of that person. In this case, the coming back thing is the worse.

I also have a friend who shall remain nameless, who loves that saying but with a twist: "If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours and if it doesn't, go out, find it and force it into submission". Pretty creepy I think.

In any case it's kinda weird how neither of those sayings is healthy. In one, if you love someone you are suppossed to be a martyr and just hang around waiting as you accept a life of not knowing. In the other a psycho. Stalker, anyone? And neither of those things come with a guarantee either...

These days I've been thinking of the "if you love someone enjoy them when they are around because once they leave even if they come back, it may not be the same" approach. I think it's good because it leaves room for possibility all the while it's extremely honest.

And I think that goes for every kind of relationship.

That whole "distance [physical or psychological] makes the heart grow fonder" thing is nonsense. Distance changes people and sometimes makes them forget. Been there-done that.


Muriel said...

Very nice to have you back indeed.
I almost sent you a message recently to ask how you were.

On your post, I would say that you should let people go without making a drama, if they wish to do so.
It's not nice to make others feel guilty. I am saying that because my bf manipulated me emotionnaly for years, and it's not very nice..

Gabemaster said...


One of the traits that makes humans so fascinating is how freaking unpredictable we can be. We can be so different within our own similarities that you can try to use any rule of thumb you want, you will always find somebody who won't fit or belong in the mold you think is right to apply.

We all bring the learning experiences of our past relationships into the mix and sometimes that can be good while other times, not so good.
I think is better to treat every person we get involved with as the individual that they are.

Otherwise we run the risk of (unknowingly) pushing away that person who could have been the right one for us. But I could be wrong because like I said, humans are so freaking unpredictable, and to me that is just fascinating.

2singlegrlz said...

I liked your take on a very common saying that is told to one that is heart broken in way of giving hope. I think its all bs. If i love someone i would do anything to not let them go and if they do well then be gone with you. I can walk away knowing i did all i could do. Thats how i see it. Nice post. I'm new to the blog world so please pay me a visit....will ya? tk Francesca