Thursday, June 25, 2009


My brother had a girlfriend he loved and they haid a relationship that ran its course. I won't say that anyone made it easy for them because I'd be struck by lightning if I lied, but the relationship ended when HE decided to end it, so for all practical purposes, it ran its course.

She loved him and he loved her. Of this there is no doubt.

But they were no good for each other. If in mathematical rules two positives is a positive and a positive and a negative is a negative and two negatives is a negative well, together regardless of ther qualities they were a negative.

They loved each other but in life, no matter how supportive they were of each other, they always failed. And it was sad. Life was a wall and there was no way to get around it no matter how they tried.

And now separately they are thriving...

These days I've seen someone I really care about whose privacy I am going to protect, be in the same circumstances. But they are in a hole because they have to remain together. Yet it's obvious that if their life could perhaps suck because of life, or the recession, or whatever, this is not the reason. Their life is sucking because of simple mathematical rules.

So what do you say? I've told them the "my brother was once in a relationship..." story. But how do you tell someone that in order to get back on their feet they need to dettach?

I'm bitchy but not hurtful.

You can't tell someone who/how to love.

But how do you watch someone become a shadow of their former self knowing that it's quite possible that the answer to their problems is all in mathematical rules? I am scientist and a pragmatist and I love this person. How do I come to terms with their choice or tell the, that their choice was a mathematical mistake?

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