At this very moment I am drunk.
That said, I just came home from a party at Karu & Y where I ran into HWMNBN. Before I say anything, allow me to say that at this point in time, the only feelings I have for HWMNBN are those of resentment and disappointment. It's very likely that had I known before what I know now, I would have thrown those CDs in his face and ran him over that day we met.
Yeah, I don't tolerae disloyalty.
But the cookie crumbled differently and it is what it is.
Tonight I went to a party where his friends, some of whom are now my friends too, where spinning. Under normal circumstances it would have been weird, odd, awkward and strange but it seems to me like current girlfriend is losing a war she doesn't know she is fighting. Furthermore, I didn't know that int he eyes of everyone, this is a war I am fighting.
I've been asked "how could I let this girl be with him?" Apparenlty people's memories are fickle and everyone seems to have forgotten that I got dumped. I did. I loved and I lost and I think that everyonne has free will and so I'm not going to wage a war when I know that I wasn't the easy choice. But now that the current choice is difficult I am suppossed to be some kind of savior.
I am not.
But I have to ask myself, what kind of woman (or person) would waltz into someone's life and say that the people who helped you be who you are, namely your best friends, are no good? And this is what' s happening...apparently now Cinderella has decided that the same people who helped create the person she suppossedly loves are no good- and he is listening.
Now I am Saint Annush.
Eventhough he made his bed I am suppossed to change things- though I think he should sleep in it.
I don't hate her-even though people I think I should.
I do hate the fact that I no longer recognize someone I thought knew so well. I hate the fact that he is allowing her to dictate who he can and can't be friends with. That he has lost every bit of sense of who he is.
I loved someone who was confused but who was at least clear in regards of who he was. Now I talk to that person and I don't even know who he is. He hurt me, sure. But at this point I am not blind, And I ask myself, how do you give some the right to dictate who you are when the person you are is not in any way related to the person you are with?