I have always worried about being a bad girl. Not that I feel like I am a bad girl; however, this is a bit of a paranoia I have.
No matter how open I may be, I like to keep a bit of privacy. and when I don't, I like to be open under my terms.
I sometimes act and react to things as if I were a little girl playing dress up. Even when people look at me and think that my child like enthusiasm is that of someone with nothing but good intentions, on ocassion I do things. Stupid things. Though at times these stupid decisions are brought about by the aforementioned good intentions.
Sometimes I build things and I destroy them. I love more than I'd like but I don't think I know how to express love properly. Everything has to be measured by a second opinion, by a change in perspective and I react depending on how people react to me.
I went to spend time with someone.
I wanted him to like me.
And ultimately he did.
I think.
But when I should have been at my best
I was at my worse.
I think I behaved very badly.
Though ironically, I don't feel much regret,
Maybe embarrasment...
mostly because it was brought to my attention.
To everyone's attention.
Ultimately though, I only went to see him.
