" I want to kiss you...but if do then I might miss you babe..."
-"Love Game" by Lady Gaga
It's been months since I've been enthusiastically enthusiastic about somebody. I like people sure, but A is A and B is B and after a while you are like whatever. But there is someone in my life now. He is smart, and succesful and so incredibly hot that every once in a while, I look in his general direction and have a mini-nervous breakdown.
Self-control has never been my strong suit.
In this specific case, this is my problem.
I have managed to find myself EXTREMELY involved with a man who has found God. God. God? I mean really...God? Apparently he couldn't wait until after he met me, and he has recently found God and leads a life of celibacy.
On our first date he asked me to church.
And normally I'd be like "whatever". I'll be the first to admit that I like physicality on my terms. It makes me feel like I'm in control. The problem is that this guy is too hot for words. This past weekend I saw him swimming and I was lustful like a guy! Maybe worse! Each angle and curve of his body was like an invitation. I saw him and I counted his freckles and I couldn't even bring myself to touch him out of fear that I might spontaneously combust.
Hell, out of fear that I may drop dead if he touched me, I didn't put on sunblock and am now lobster red to say the least!
So I got cranky. And I bitched at him for getting me wet even though I was already in the pool and I ran out of the pool and lit a cigarrette and he came after me and said "how can I make it up to you?"
In my mind: "Bathroom. now."
What I really said: "Margarita. Then something fried and breaded"
(he is a fitness freak. I had to mess him up a little)
And I saw him pick up each calamari and I had to go smoke. and drink some more. and then smoke again.
(he got physically sick because I asked him to... and I liked it)
He found God and yet he is making me feel the kind of lust that will drive you straight to hell. And he tells me that I'm funner than fun and cooler than cool and so pretty and I don't know how long I'll be able to continue this nonsense because I know that I would never marry him but when he is in front of me I can't help myself but wish I was the broccoli he brings so enthusiastically into his mouth and that cross that rests so so comfortably on his chest.
God help me.