Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Friends and Lovers.

The way a person treats their friends speaks volumes of their true self. This is a belief that was ingrained in me as a child and that to this day it is an intrinsic part of my core values. For me, friends are the family members we chose and as such should be treated with equal appreciation, if at times not more, than those of our own flesh and blood.

But then again, I may be just a little idealistic.

Yesterday I posted what will probably be the last poem I'll ever write about someone I have loved with desperation for the past number of months. This is not because I love this person any less or because I'm over everything that has happened, but because this person has shown me through his actions towards his friends that he is not the kind of person I thought he was, and as such, not someone I am interested in having in my life.

Sometimes I wonder why it is that people, once they enter a certain comfort zone, feel that they are entitled to do and undo in regards to other people as they see fit... the fact of the matter is that just because someone loves you unconditionally - as all friends should- that does not give you a licence to treat them as though they are to be there only when you want them around.

True friendship doesn't work that way. Friendship is a two way street.

If you are lucky enough to have someone care for you unintentionally and is always there for you, you should take that gift and embrace it and if possible reciprocate it. The real world is a cruel place and the thought of walking through it alone should be enough to terrify even the bravest of souls. Although people change, in my experience I have found that true friendships are like palm trees: they sway in the direction of the winds until they find calm again.

If someone can't be a good friend to their friends, that speaks volumes about their character. I don't want in my life people who see friendships as convenient or as a commodity when in reality what they should be thinking is that they are a gift from life.

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


newspell said...

this post is perfect! it's exactly what i was trying to say this morning... i can't live my life without friends. they are as important as my babies first words and my wife's "i do", or my parents understanding... they all just seem to go together.

but at the same time, i won't waste time with someone that's being difficult... life is too short, you know?

Elijah said...

Everyone is at a certain place in thier lives, for some I guess it takes time to figure it all out. You obviously have figured it out. For me it seems, reading your posts it comes from your solid family background, and your obvious heart. I know you will find happiness, how can someone like you not? it is only a matter of time. You are a sensitive person, but to me that is not a bad thing, like your blog title, an angel. If people cant appreciate that, then they aren't worth your time, in my world, someone like you is very near impossible to find.

Jamie Dawn said...

True friends are there through thick and thin. It's those kinds of people you never want to let go of.

As for the guy, you are right to look at how he is with his friends, family, etc... You did the right thing in seeing the truth and accepting it.

mrsmogul said...

Friendship is definitely a two way street! But sigh I am always more the giver and make more of an effort. My lame friends in NY don;t bother emailing much and I think it's because life for them is the same and I was the one that left. Though when I visit it's like I never left when I see them.

Robert_M said...

Let's play hooky and have coffee, that will get you out of the office for an afternoon. : )

Edwin R. said...

umm... What happened here? I thought we were friends... hehe... Well since your back and closer to me in real life, I think I'll leave comments now :) Hey!... Try not to eat so many patatoes... or is that potatoes? or its that potatos or patatos? ok... enough ranting... :)

Indeterminacy said...

Sorry you were disappointed. Sometimes we look at the people around us and see them not as they are but how we would like them to be. You made a bad experience with this one person, but it's made you wiser for the next time.

Reda said...

Esta maƱana estaba pensando en mis amigos. En cuanto los quiero aun cuando absolutamente todos se olvidaron de mi cumpleaƱos no me senti mal. Porque a mi tambien se me ha olvidado uno que otro birthday. El lunes comenzaron todos a llamar y me parecio muy gracioso. En fin. solo un comentario tonto sobree los amigos.

LocuTus of Borg said...

Great post! Agree with everything completely ... life isn't it grand!