Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Things that scare us.

A couple of weeks ago I had a very long conversation with my friend X-girl. My friendship with X-girl is based on honesty. There is no such thing as an embarrassing secret with her. Everything that's ever been in either of our minds has always come out in earnest and I like to think that as friends we have always complimented each other.

During our conversation, she told me that during her latest physical she had gotten tested for STDs and that she felt good about life knowing that she was healthy and well. I felt good about life knowing that she was healthy and well too so I let her carry on with the conversation. That's when she did it. She asked me if I had ever been tested for STDs.

That was the most embarrassing "no" I have ever said.

I had never been tested for anything except for HIV and that wasn't even on purpose. I donate blood often so I just figured that if I had it they'd say something.

Although I know that in this day and age everyone is at risk of contracting an STD, I really never saw myself as the type of person who could EVER be at risk for anything. I don't use intravenous drugs, I am neither promiscuous nor do I practice serial monogamy, I believe in safer sex, etc. so it always seemed like those tests were not intended for me.

X-girl didn't find this amusing. I was bitched at for an hour.

Last week I went to my gyno for my yearly check-up. I hate that f*cking place. Anyway, while I was there it was like the voice of X-girl had been connected to a loud speaker in my head because all I could hear was "you could be dying of something right now and you don't even want to know" and "you could kill someone you love!" which were parts of her little speech.

So I did it. I got tested for EVERYTHING.

I had to wait 7 business days to get the results back and all I can say is that those 7 business days (9 if you count weekends) were the most stressful days of my life. Although in my mind I have been certain all along that I'm as healthy as can be, all it took to make me crazy was to acknowledge the possibility that I might not be.

I've imagined the scenarios where I get told that I am dying of (or living with) HIV, or that I'm two weeks away from syphilis induced insanity or that my dreams of parenthood are squashed because I failed to notice that I had gonorreah. I've also imagined having to call someone to tell them that I may have infected them and then the worse scenario- buying a gun and shooting the motherf*cker who got me sick.

But 7 business days later, 9 if you count the weekend, I am 100% healthy. Once again I'm worry-free though this time it's a different kind of relief. If before I thought that I was fine now I am CERTAIN that I am, and that counts for something.

So this is the part where I am going to preach to you all and I'm going to tell you to consider getting tested yourself. Unless you are a virgin (and as usual that has its exclusions) consider the possibility that not everyone is as clean as they seem. Even if you are married (because I did hear once from a married person the words "condoms? what?") don't trust your spouse so blindly as people do cheat. It's really better to be safe than sorry.

14 comments:

Tank said...

Its always better to be safe than sorry, its a good thing that you listened to your friend. My GF keeps bugging me to go for my anual physical but being a boy I'm stubborn. I'll go in the next few weeks mostly because it'll make her happy.

Malia said...

Good for you annush. I know I'm clean cause I have had three kids and you get put through the ringer with tests, but that is a good idea for all. Glad you no for certain.

malia

lccb144 said...

100% healthy...

get tested every year...

yeah.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Yes yes yes! Along with yearly paps, monthly breast self-exams, and mammograms once you hit 40, the best thing a woman can do is make sure she's STD-free!

Congrats on your results!

Weary Hag said...

Excellent advice and you're absolutely correct that married or not, it doesn't matter.
By the way, just incase you didn't have enough morbid revelation this month, let me throw in another monkey wrench. For all the folks out there with tattoos ... consider this: Most shops are crispy clean nowadays, but you can't be too safe. Used needles are a cheaper way to go (for the bad guys) and can also pass on many horrific diseases from one person to another. Unless you watched your tat artist snap a needle out of it's little protective (sealed) sack, run away.

Grant said...

Now that you've been tested for STDs, you need to have a complete psych eval. If you check out okay, go give X-Girl hell if she hasn't been mentally tested. "How can you be sure you're not a serial killer waiting to happen?"

Jonas said...

Being tested is important. But marriage is about trust, if you are still using protection while banging your wife, as a couple, you're doomed.

annush said...

that's the problem jonah, a lot of people abuse the trust that's given to them. I'm not saying to use condoms while banging your spouse but I think that you should distrust them a little to get tested every so often.

Jonas said...

Well, that I can agree with. If only all people were that responsible.

Bob W. said...

AH! The life of being TOTALLY, commited 120%, Sexually, everyway.

I have often wondered why so many are so promiscuous, on the side of caution is to be monogamous

Libélula said...

Awesome that you're 100% healthy!!!

Pirate said...

You know Rev. Dr. Abagambi said the same thing about Dennis Miller. I say the money is on the liberal side so it doesn't really jive right.

You know you can still be gay marriages, smoke pot, be pro choice and still be conservative. The difference you buy all the shit Kennedy's, Jesse and the media are selling. And you lik,e a good John Wayne flick now and then.

How's your extended vacation treating you?

miss e. said...

i know how you feel... well sort of. this is why i've waited around to get tested because i am worried about all the anxiety waiting for the results would bring. but my appt. is in october and i plan to be tested for everything! until then i must brainstorm ways NOT to lose my mind...

Vince said...

I dread those particular 7 work days like no other.