The beast within.

There is this thing that sleeps inside me.

My own personal beast.

When it awakens it's wild, it's free, it's uncontrollable.

But for the most part, it sleeps.

That thing doesn't like to be awakened

because when it is it tears up the world

it forgets about reason

and it won't rest until it's apetite is quenched.

It's been dormant for a while now.

Far longer than it has ever been.

It's last feeding was abundant, satisfying and intense

and the beast within me has since slept.

Two weeks ago my beast began to toss and turn

and one day it walked in its sleep.

It looked for nourishment, but it was still asleep you see,

so after only a taste it settled back and slept.

Since then it hasn't been in an intense sleep

It's like the last bit of sleep before the alarm goes off.

It's a conscious sleep in which he is resting

but in its unconscious it knows the time has come.

So it's awakening again.

It's tossing and turning and shifting and moving

dreaming of the feast it missed, lusting after what will come

and each ounce of food will be a feast it'll devour.

And I can't control it

And I can't resist it

But the beast is hungry

and this hunger is vengeful.

My beast is something I have to learned to live with

because when it awakens it's something I can contain

but not this time

and i am scared.

Because the beast that lives within me is unforgiving

and it's apetite is great

and i could try to fight my beast

but this is a beast I can not tame.

And I could kill it

but it's beautiful

So I will nourish it

even if it kills me.