Some things are good, some things are bad, and some are whatever you can make of them. Though ultimately, any situation is what you make of it because whatever way is going to happen, it's gonna' be the way it's gonna' be.
It worries me a lot that so many bad things happen to people and nobody ever hears about them. Everybody knows that some things are wrong, and yet people are doing those very things sometimes to the least likely people. People do things that they don't think make a difference in people's lives but they do...because they are so horrid, because they are so disarming, because even when you think you have blocked it out you never really forget.
I know a girl who was molested as a child and when I heard that I thought that she would be the one person I would ever meet who was molested as a child. But she wasn't. Another girl who was very close to me was also molested. This one girl was molested repeatedly by different people. And I thought to myself, that maybe that was it. That I would never again find someone who had lived through such a traumatic ordeal. But I did. And each time it got worse, and each time the story was that much more terrifying.
Then I heard of the story of the girl who "didn't have consensual sex", and I knew that this is something that happened but I didn't think that it happened that often, and I had already met the girl who was date raped so I was surprised. And I thought that this was it. That I had met my quota of girls who had really bad things happen to them but apparently I hadn't and there was the girl who was raped by her friend and the other one who was raped by a stranger and actually said something. Because the common denominator in all of these tragic stories is that they never said anything, at least not with the intention to do something about it.
So all of these girls grew up, and alone they managed to get through it. They survived the ultimate invasion of privacy. And now they hate men. Well, not so much that they hate men but they don't trust them and if they do something bad the girls expect it and if they do something they should be doing anyway they cry. Their relationships suffer. Their self esteem has suffered.
And all it took was maybe 10 minutes? an hour? three hours? to really fuck up the rest of that life. And I didn't think that really happened that often. That maybe that had been an unfortunate exception to the rule, but it did and it does and I am sorry and it's not even my fault...