I met the love of my life on April 9, 1981.
I don't remember the specifics, after all I was only a year old, but I do know that I have never in my life felt a love so intense as the love that I have felt for my brother all this time. At the risk of sounding inappropriate or even slightly disturbed, I am convinced that Ivan is my soulmate and that had the stars (and our genes) aligned differently, he would have been "the one".
So what does this have to do with anything?
According to Latina Lifestyle Bloggers, today is #WeddingWednesday . As everyone knows, I hate weddings so this topic definitely takes me out of my comfort zone. For the record, I don't believe in marriage. Not only do I find the institution dated, I find the concept ridiculous by every standard.
Still, it's somewhat ironic and I would be completely amiss if I didn't mention that my brother Ivan is celebrating his wedding this coming July.
Before Ivan got engaged, we went out to dinner and he told me all about his plans to propose to the woman he had been dating. I gave him my full support and told him that in the same way I would help him hide the body were he ever to kill someone, that he would not be alone in this either.
Still, I didn't like the woman. I still don't. I find her to be too tall, too thin, too pale, too simple, too quiet, too indecisive, etc. In her defense though, I have never liked any of the girls he has dated. I think he deserves the best and I don't know that in my eyes any woman will ever measure up. And it sucks for her because if she has agreed to spend the rest of her life trying to be the woman he needs, she has also indirectly agreed to spend the rest of her life proving to me that she is the woman that he deserves.
She has been warned by everyone, friends, family, even strangers, that my love for my brother is greater than even my love for myself. I think the world will bear witness of this at their wedding when they see that I won't be a bridesmaid and presume to be her ally because I will be standing in my rightful place by my brother's side.
People think that I am very stern and unyielding in regards to my beliefs.
This may be so.
But if I were to choose to be flexible or aloof, it would not be at the expense of my brother. If I were to settle, even if for the sake of convention, I would be failing him and this is simply unacceptable and hence not an option for me.
My brother is getting married.
...and this may very well be the only wedding I will attend/ have attended in my adult life (unless my other brother decides to get married) and rather than preoccupy myself with mindless nonsense like the color of a plate or a dress, I will take this #WeddingWednesday to celebrate family. My family.
This July, Giselle is taking a husband. A husband who happens to be my brother. And in acceptance (though not agreement) with social conventions, I am trusting her to care for the love of my life.