...and in one second we lost 2 friends...

All day yesterday I had been busy recovering from the night before.
You see, while I was laughing and having fun they were taking their last breaths.

I found out via Facebook because I hadn't been in the mood to answer the phone. It hurt me. When it became a good time to call people back, it hurt more.

I imagined them getting in the car.
They were very close friends so I imagine that they at least smiled talking about something trivial while driving to that destination they would never reach. During those last minutes they probably looked at each other. And just like that it was over.

Then I thought of Stone Temple Pilots. And again I thought of them. One died on impact and the other on the way to the hospital. Again I thought of STP.

"If you should die before me -Ask if you can bring a friend" sang Scott Wyland...

He did. He could.
And if we are sad over this tragic loss- a double loss- they spent the last of their time here on earth in good company and no matter where they are now, they are probably together. And this very fact leads me to believe they are alright...

They will be missed.

In loving memory of Cesar and Joy.

G.

You won... and I didn't even know I was in competition with anyone- let alone someone I didn't even know existed.

I wish I had found out some other way.

3 days later
-2 pounds later
a box of tissues later

it hasn't gotten any easier.

Saturday night I died and you were what killed me... and to think that you seemed nice enough that we could have been friends.

But I love him.
More than he has ever known.
And as you kissed me hello and goodbye, you didn't know that.

And I probably will never stop loving him
But you are the girlfriend
and I'll respect that.

But make him happier than I ever could...
it'll justify the sadness I feel now.

To that firefly who has lit up my life!

I wish I found the courage to call you and to say just the right the thing. Death is a terrible thing and I am obsessed with it, and I talk about it all the time; but I don't know how to even address the fact that you lost someone important to you.

I haven't called you...yet...

I will...eventually...

But just because I don't, please don't think that I don't care or that I love you any less than I have told you I do. Loss is just hard for me, especially when it's somebody else's...

Somebody who is incidentally very important to me.

I am so sorry friend...really. I am.